Tag Archives: Torah

Shul Experiences

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Before I publish this post, I must say that I am completely consumed by the escalating situation in Israel.  I feel funny posting about anything else.  So, because mitzvos help protect us, these are good Psalms to say at a time like this:  130, 121, 83, 20, 91 & 143.  Also, check out the Shmira Project, where you can sign up to sponsor a solider, not with money, but with good deeds, prayer and Torah learning.  It just takes a minute, but makes an incalculable difference.  

The synagogue we attend (or, in my circles, the shul you daven at), can be a potent thing.  It “says” something about you.  You go to “this” synagogue, or “that” one.  It’s kind of annoying, but where you daven can categorize you.  Asking someone where they daven is kind of shorthand for asking them what they stand for.  Which camp do they align themselves with?  What type of person are they?

This reminds me of a joke:

A man is stranded on a desert island for years and years and years.  When his rescuers arrive, he gives them a little tour.  There are two structures, side-by-side, and he’s asked what they are.

“This is the synagogue I go to,” he replies with a note of pride.

“And what’s the other building?”

“That’s the synagogue I wouldn’t set foot in if you paid me.”

Right.

Since embarking on my religious journey nearly nine years ago, I’ve spent time in a wide array of synagogues.  Actually, too many synagogues to write about in one post, so I’m going to focus on five in this post, not necessarily chronologically.

Continue reading →

Good Deeds for Recovery from Illness

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Unfortunately, Ayala Pamela bas Leah (Pamela Nagy Weisfeld) passed away today (August 20th).  We can still do good deeds as a merit for her soul.  May her family be comforted, and may we only share in simchas.

Some upsetting news came down through the Facebook grapevine yesterday:

Pamela was at Neve at the same time as me.  She’s a beautiful, vivacious, wonderful woman.  I was completely floored at this devastating news.  I’m still shaken up about it.

In the past several years there have been a staggering numbers of young people dying.  Mothers, fathers, children.  G-d help us all.  It’s too much to bear, really, and much of the time when I hear about an untimely illness, I don’t feel anything (except an increase in hypochondriacal tendencies).  Maybe I’ve been desensitized.  Maybe it’s just a defense mechanism.  I don’t know.  Thanks to the long reach of social media and general interconnectivity through the internet, such news travels fast, often, and wide.  And while I’m not emotionally capable of feeling deeply for every one who is ailing, when it’s someone who I know, someone whose path has directly crossed mine, I’m reminded that everyone who is ill is loved by someone, even if it’s not me.

Judaism takes the power of prayer very seriously.  Even when a person is, lo aleinu, at death’s door, beyond hope according to medical professionals, we still pray fervently for a complete and speedy recovery.  Why?  Judaism teaches that only Hashem can give or take life, and as long as a person is living, there is still hope.  I know several people who were in such situations, and after their recovery the doctors and other medical staff openly stated that the recoveries were miraculous.  So we don’t despair, even when it looks pretty bleak.

Another concept in Judaism is that of doing a good deed as a merit for the recovery of the choleh (the person who is sick).  One could learn Torah on behalf of the choleh, give money to charity, light Shabbos candles earlier (or at all), refrain from negative speech, make a blessing over food, etc.  Basically, if something is a mitzvah, that spiritual credit can be donated, so to speak, to the choleh in order to help him or her recover.

So, I’m asking all my wonderful readers to consider doing something on Pamela’s behalf.  It doesn’t have to be anything grandiose – every little bit helps.  Whatever you choose to do, have in mind her Hebrew name – Ayala Pamela bas Leah (the “bas” means “daughter of” in Hebrew.  So, Pamela’s mother’s Hebrew name was Leah).  Names are a potent thing in Judaism, so having her “in mind,” as we say, is the most effective way to get that positive spiritual juice to her.  And lest you think this contribution is limited to my Jewish readers, I’m not picky about who sends prayers, positive energy and good deeds her way.  Hashem certainly listens to everyone’s prayers, so there’s no monopoly on helping out here.

Thank you all so much for reading this post, and for potentially doing an action to help Pamela out.  I apologize for imposing on you, as no doubt you have your own list of those who are ill, or who need prayers.  Please don’t feel obligated to help, but if you can, even if it’s just putting a nickel toward charity, it will be greatly appreciated.

If you’re stymied on things you can do to help, here are some suggestions.  Feel free to add more in the comments section:

  • Prayer – remember to use her name:  Ayala Pamela bas Leah
  • Giving charity, no amount too small
  • Refraining from lashon hara (speaking ill of others).  More info on what this is, and how to avoid it, here
  • Lighting Shabbos candles earlier than usual, or just lighting them, if you don’t usually.  Here’s a site with candle lighting times (make sure you’ve selected  the correct city, as it will affect the times)
  • Saying Tehillim (Psalms).  Chapters 6, 30, 41, 88 & 103 are especially good for this situation, but any and all and helpful.
  • Learning Torah.  Here are some useful sites for that: aish.com, chabad.org, torah.org, partners in torah
  • Do a mitzvah, any mitzvah.  Here’s a list of the 613 you have to choose from.

May we only share good news with each other from now on.

Learn something Jewish – Win an Ipad

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I’ve always enjoyed learning,  When I was in seminary, I applied myself vigorously to my studies.  I loved to learn in English, in Hebrew, on my own, with a partner, in class.  Loved it.  I wanted to keep it up forever.  In my innocent, naive single way, I imagined that I would always be able to learn intensely.

bwahahahaha

Silly me.

4 1/2 years and three children later, I see that it’s not realistic for me, at this exact point in my life, to be cracking open a mikros gedolos and start translating commentary from rishonim.  Maybe some women could do it, but my brain is just not up to it right now.  Maybe in the unforeseeable future.

Without a constant presence of learning in my life, I found that it was difficult for me to stay connected to my spiritual center.  And although I am totally getting spiritual credit for doing things like changing diapers, doing laundry, and feeding my family, those are not exclusively Jewish activities, connecting me more to mothers in general than to my Jewishness.  Not having grown up with Torah values, I need to have refreshers here and there, to remind me of the values which drew me to this lifestyle in the first place.

Enter my friend who let me know that I could learn through Partners in Torah.  And that I could win an iPad.  Or maybe it was the other way around.  I don’t know.  But I signed up for a Partner in Torah, and was matched up with an amazing, inspiring woman.  We learn the weekly Torah portion.  I love it.  It’s great.

As for the iPad, go over to www.mysiyum.com and check it out.  They explain it much better than I can, in my sleep-deprived state.  Basically, sign up to learn something Jewish and you can enter to win an iPad.  But it also dovetails with the Siyum HaShas, and has some nice Jewish Unity aspects to it, so, really, take a minute and go check it out.

For one of my entries into the raffle, I made a video detailing why I’m glad I took the time to sign up for Partners in Torah.  Check it out:

The Most Important Word of the Seder

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I am so thrilled to have my friend (IRL), band sistah, fellow blogger, and someone who I just all-around look up to, Ruchi Koval, guest posting today.  Ruchi has a fabulous blog, Out of the Ortho Box, that I highly recommend you go and check out.  It’s one of the only places I’ve seen on the web where people with very disparate opinions and beliefs  talk nicely to each other about contentious issues.   I know that Ruchi is genuinely interested in understanding where people are coming from, which seems to be a rare thing sometimes.  And it’s  great content, the amazing atmosphere aside.

Ruchi has plenty of experience with making Pesach, and running a Seder, so I asked her for some tips on how to make the sederim meaningful, for everyone.  Here’s what she has to say:

~ ~ ~

Word association game:  Seder.

What do you think of?

Brisket.  Matza.  Family.  Bitter herbs (maror).  The Four Questions.  The Four Cups.  Afikoman.

Yup, all those are features of the seder.  But I’ll bet the most important word is the one you haven’t thought of.

Communication.

Amidst all the traditional foods, cousins, and hoopla, it’s easy to forget that the actual mitzvah of the seder, its raison d’etre, is to talk to your children about our national history.  Kids: we’re here.  We’re Jews.  And we used to be in Egypt.  And God saved us.  Miraculously!  And then he gave us the Torah!  And we still have it till today!  We’re so happy and grateful!  Let’s eat.  After we do some other stuff.  ‘Kay?

If you don’t have kids, talk to someone else’s kids!  If you’re not with kids, talk to each other!  And if you’re alone, well, the Talmud actually says you should ask yourself the Four Questions, and then answer yourself.  Not a sign of dementia, just a sign that communication is the name of the game.

So before the Seder, ask yourself these Four Questions.

1. What is it that I would like the next generation to know about Judaism?
2. How can I communicate that message most effectively?
3. At what part of the Seder can this be done?
4. What will I, personally, get out of this process?

Blessings on the journey – and have a wonderful holiday!

~ ~ ~

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Torah Tuedays: Random Acts of Kindness

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If you haven’t checked out my Rosh Hashana Card Giveaway, you can go here and enter to win!

Today’s post is about doing nice things for other people, sometimes for people we don’t know and may never meet.  The concept of doing random acts of kindness is one of my faves.  One thing I like about it is that it helps me think about the needs of others outside my immediate circle.

A woman I know, when she finds a great parking spot (the ones I call “rock-star parking” because they’re so close to the store), leaves it for someone else, taking a different spot for herself.  She says that every time she really needs a spot, she’s able to find one.

Another act of kindness I’ve heard about is paying for the order of the person behind you in line.  This would apply more at a coffee shop than a grocery store (ha, wouldn’t that be nice!).  Can you imagine the lift it must give to the person who gets an unexpected free coffee?

I have a friend who would frequently call me from the grocery store to see if I needed anything.  It really impressed me that she thought of me, that I may need something.  It inspired me to try and think of others on a more constant and practical basis.

Standard shopping cart, picture taken at a Weg...

it's just waiting to be properly corralled. Look at it!

One random act of kindness that I often practice is returning errant shopping carts.  You know, the ones that are in the middle of the parking spot that you want?  Those.  If I’m on my way into the store, I’ll take that cart and use it for my shopping.  If I’m on my way to my car, I’ll return the cart to the corral along with the cart I used.  I do this even when I have my kids with me.  I explain to them that we’re returning the cart because it’s a nice thing to do, and it will make someone happy.

I’ve gotten “caught” a few times by employees, and they usually look surprised, and then they thank me.  Sometimes profusely.  It’s no fun to have to fetch all those scattered carts.  I know.  I’ve been there.

Oftentimes, in today’s world, we are encouraged to say “what’s in it for me?”  The Torah teaches us that we should think of things in terms of responsibility.  What are we obligated to do?  One mitzvah (obligation, in another word)  is to emulate Hashem, who is constantly giving.

Acts of kindness, chesed, are one of the mitzvos where we are rewarded in both this world and the next (like my friend who’s always able to find a parking spot when she needs one).  Each act of kindness that we do helps develop us into a kinder, more thoughtful person.  When we give something to another person, we are stretching our giving muscles, making it that much easier to give the next time.

Being considerate of other people’s feelings is doing the mitzvah of  “Love your neighbor as yourself,”  one of the most fundamental mitzvos in the Torah.  Don’t we always want our feelings to be considered?  Doesn’t it rankle when we feel we are being mistreated?  Usually.  So it behooves us to try and think of others, even when it’s outside of our comfort zone.

This week, try and find an act of kindness to do which you haven’t done before.  It could be making dinner for someone who’s moving, offering to watch your friends’ children for an hour, or visiting an elderly neighbor.  Keep your eyes open for opportunities to help out, and go for it!  Stretch those muscles.

What are some random acts of kindness you’ve performed, or have seen performed? 

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Torah Tuesdays: The Ten Commandments

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The Ten Commandments, In SVG

not exactly how they looked IRL, but you get the idea

I thought it might be nice to do a Judaism 101 post, you know, a back-to-the-basics kind of thing.

The Ten Commandments are a pretty basic part of Jewish belief.  After all, whatever I’m posting on these Torah Tuesdays posts can be linked back to these commandments in some way.   Indeed, we learn that every single mitzvah has its roots in the Ten Commandments.

Neat, right?

As fundamental as these commandments are, I really don’t think about them all that much.  However, leading up to the high holidays, I thought it would be useful to review them, to concentrate on these basic tenets of Judaism.

Here is a great video from Lori Palatnik which provides a cute memory device for remembering the commandments.

If you don’t feel like watching the video (though it is very cute), here’s a nice rundown of the commandments (taken from Judaism 101):

1. Belief in G-d
This category is derived from the declaration in Ex. 20:2 beginning, “I am the L-rd, your G-d…”
2. Prohibition of Improper Worship
This category is derived from Ex. 20:3-6, beginning, “You shall not have other gods…” It encompasses within it the prohibition against the worship of other gods as well as the prohibition of improper forms of worship of the one true G-d, such as worshiping G-d through an idol.
3. Prohibition of Oaths
This category is derived from Ex. 20:7, beginning, “You shall not take the name of the L-rd your G-d in vain…” This includes prohibitions against perjury, breaking or delaying the performance of vows or promises, and speaking G-d’s name or swearing unnecessarily.
4. Observance of Sacred Times
This category is derived from Ex. 20:8-11, beginning, “Remember the Sabbath day…” It encompasses all mitzvos related to Shabbos, holidays, or other sacred time.
5. Respect for Parents and Teachers
This category is derived from Ex. 20:12, beginning, “Honor your father and mother…”
6. Prohibition of Physically Harming a Person
This category is derived from Ex. 20:13, saying, “You shall not murder.”
7. Prohibition of Sexual Immorality
This category is derived from Ex. 20:13, saying, “You shall not commit adultery.”
8. Prohibition of Theft
This category is derived from Ex. 20:13, saying, “You shall not steal.” It includes within it both outright robbery as well as various forms of theft by deception and unethical business practices. It also includes kidnapping, which is essentially “stealing” a person.
9. Prohibition of Harming a Person through Speech
This category is derived from Ex. 20:13, saying, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” It includes all forms of lashon ha-ra (sins relating to speech).
10. Prohibition of Coveting
This category is derived from Ex. 20:14, beginning, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house…”

———

image via Wikipedia

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Torah Tuesdays: A Month of Introspection

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I love it when Torah Tuesdays coincides with Rosh Chodesh!  What a treat!

Today is Rosh Chodesh Elul.  Elul is the last month of the Jewish year.  It is the month preceding the high holidays (Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur).  It is a month of spiritual accounting and preparation for the upcoming holidays.

You may recall that the Jewish year is like a spiral:  As it cycles through the year, each time period is imbued with its own spiritual flavor which connects back to the events of that time throughout history.  Pesach is a time of freedom, Sukkos is a time of rejoicing, and the High Holidays are a time of judgment and renewal.  Elul is a month of Divine mercy and forgiveness. 

The days of Elul are called “days of grace” or “days of compassion.”  It was during this time, back in the days of our desert-wandering, that Moshe was successful in his pleas for forgiveness after the incident with the Golden Calf.  This is when Moshe went back up the mountain, a second time, to spend another 40 days to commune with G-d.  This is when Moshe learned the 13 Attributes of Mercy (Exodus 33:18-34:8).

We say that during the month of Elul, the “King is in the field.”  This means that during this time of year, G-d is closer to us, so to speak, than He is at other times.  This closeness makes Him especially accessible, and makes it easier to return to a way of living which will extend this closeness (I’m talking about improving our actions and service to G-d here, folks).

So, we dedicate this month to saying special prayers (we start reciting Psalm 27 at the end of Shacharis), sounding the shofar, taking a spiritual accounting, and yes, doing teshuvah.

A shofar made from a ram's horn is traditional...

it's a shofar! dooeee do do do do do do do

This is an excellent time to start asking ourselves:  How do I want to grow?  What’s holding me back?  How can I move forward?  And once we’ve answered those questions, it’s time to act on it.

I’m planning on cracking open my machzor and reading a small portion of the Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur services each day, that way when it’s time to daven on those awesome days, I’m somewhat familiar with what I’m saying (it really makes such a difference, no shocker there).

I also plan on using Rabbi Simon Jacobson’s book 60 days:  A Spiritual Guide to the High Holidays, which I love.  It covers all the days between Rosh Chodesh Elul and Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan.  Each day is allotted two pages:  The first has a calendar with a quote, a list of historical events that occurred on that day, and some laws and customs.  The other page has an inspirational thought and a practical exercise.

I’ve used this book for several years now, and while I do tend to peter out in the middle of the month (but not this year, I hope!), I still feel that I’ve gained from what I’ve read.  I’m excited each year when I open it up.  Much of this post was drawn from Rabbi Jacobson’s excellent introduction.

How are you planning to use this time of year to improve?  Are there any books or resources you recommend?

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Torah Tuesdays: Making the bride and groom happy

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If you’ve never been to an Orthodox wedding, you should really get to one.  I mean it.  They are a mix of seriousness (the ceremony) and crazy-funness (the reception).  Picture rabbis in dark coats and long beards, and then picture those same rabbis dancing with their arms in the air, juggling, doing handstands, showing off complicated footwork, acrobatics, pyrotechnics, you name it.  And that’s just a tiny taste of it.  People  go all out.

You really have to see it to believe it.

I had the very good fortune to attend a wedding last night.  I’m very close to the kallah’s family, and it was a absolute pleasure to dance with the kallah, her mother, and many dear friends who came in all the way from St. Louis, MO to celebrate the wedding in Lakewood, NJ.

It’s a big mitzvah to make a chosson and kallah happy on the day of their wedding.  It’s part of the mitzvah of loving your fellow as yourself (one of my faves).  Part of this mitzvah is to make sure that the chosson and kallah have what they need.  That’s one reason you’ll always see people bringing them water, or a chair to sit in, and lots  and lots of shtick to enjoy.  That’s why people go all out during the dancing.  That’s where the unicycles come in.  ‘Cause, really, who doesn’t love unicycles?

One who makes a chosson and kallah happy merits the Torah, and it’s considered to be like bringing an offering to the Temple AND as if you’ve built one of the ruined houses in Jerusalem, so it’s kind of a big deal. (paraphrased from vosisneias.com)

It’s also nice because sometimes the young (or not so young) couple can be very nervous as they embark on this new stage in life.  It’s exciting, but life as they know it is about to change, so dancing your skirt off can help ease that tension.

Anyways, I’m pretty much exhausted from all the driving and dancing I just did (and in heels, no less.  Don’t judge me, I love them), so I will leave you with this question:

What’s the most interesting dancing/shtick/entertainment you’ve seen at a wedding? 

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Torah Tuesdays: Speaking well of others

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As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, the three weeks, and within them, the nine days, are some of the saddest days on the Jewish calendar.  Many of the calamities that have befallen the Jewish people (and oh, have there been a lot of those) originated from events that occurred during this time period.  These sad days lead up to Tisha B’Av, the saddest day of the year.

Why all the sadness?  

Well, to go back to the very beginning, we have to look at the generation in the desert, the ones who spoke ill of the land of Israel and prompted a national panic.  Remember that?  After the spies went to check out the land (and even that was a questionable move, if you recall), they came back and nearly all of them said,

“No way we’re gonna be able to do this.  The people who live there?  Massive!  We’re like grasshoppers compared to them and we’re gonna get squashed.”

Mass hysteria ensues, and Hashem decrees that since they cried over nothing (since of course it was going to be okay to go into the land), then for all the years to come, there will be reasons to cry.  And there were.

Why are we still crying, then?  Hasn’t it been long enough?

You would think so, right?  I mean, it’s been over 2000 years.  That’s a long time.  Since then, lots has happened.  The world was discovered to be round, and the earth revolves around the sun, there’s gravity, America, revolutions and industrialization, cars, space race, world wars, cold war, women’s lib, civil rights, internet … a lot.  So many developments, yet here we are, still mourning the loss of our temples, and remembering the massive amount of calamities that our people have suffered over the long, long years of exile.

The Chofetz Chaim said that because the root of all this sadness was the sin of Lashon Hara, bad speech (in this particular case, slander), that’s what we need to fix to end the sadness.  And if we don’t have our temple yet, it’s cause we haven’t fixed this part of ourselves.  Basically, it’s up to us.

Sound familiar?

I feel like this is a very commonly mentioned idea, even to the point that it has become part of the scenery.  When it’s brought up, a feeling of oh-this-again can occur.  Because of the repetition of this concept, of the importance of avoiding lashon hara, there can be a knee-jerk reaction to say,

“Yeah, I know that I’m not supposed to speak lashon hara and that it’s really bad, but what am I supposed to do?  Not talk at all?  Only talk about the weather?  How am I supposed to communicate with people and still avoid all the things I’m not supposed to say?”

Perhaps also because it can seem like a very daunting goal, a normal reaction is to just brush it off, as it were.  To say

“I’m just not holding there right now.  I’m not on that level.”

I recently read an article in Binah magazine (Vol.4 No.183 – thanks for lending it to me, E) about Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky in Bnei Brak.  One point in the article stood out for me.

“And to those who say that shemiras halashon [guarding one's speech] is only possible when one avoids interacting with people, the Rebbetzin disproves that claim.  Her entire day is spent speaking with women, from all walks of life…”

Okay, so it can be done, but I’m no Rebbetzin Kanievsky.  How am I, an average woman, supposed to manage it?

How to get past the mental block

Start Small.  A reasonable way to begin is to select one hour a day and designate that period of time to be a lashon-hara-free zone.  Now, picking from 3-4 in the morning is a little bit like cheating, so try to pick a time that’s realistic but not a gimme.  A time period that you’re awake, but that you think will be possible to achieve the goal.  Like during carpool, or when you’re making dinner, or getting the kids ready for sleep.  A time period where you could theoretically talk to people, but not where you feel you are likely to be overly challenged.  Save that time for a future goal.

Knowledge is power.  It can be overwhelming to follow the rules of correct speech if they are only vaguely familiar to you.  If you can, get a friend to study the laws with you.  Two a day is the recommended amount.  There are two books by Artscroll publishing that divide the laws of speech up into nice little daily doses.  A Lesson A Day and A Daily Companion.  I highly recommend them.

If you can’t find a friend to study with, don’t be discouraged. You can always study on your own.  It’s just better to have a friend to help motivate (like the same thing about gong to the gym, you know?  Peer pressure and all that).  If you like, contact me, and I’ll be your buddy.

An additional word about speech

These days, it’s not just what comes out of your mouth.  I’ve seen some really heinous comments on blog posts (thank G-d, none on mine – thank you all for being such positive commenters!), things that perhaps wouldn’t have been said if there were a face-to-face dialogue.  With the internet, it’s so easy to just post a comment or send an email that can really cause a lot of damage and pain.

During these nine days (well, eight now), I’m going to try to be more careful with my speech, bli neder.  If we all make an effort to improve ourselves, just a little bit, in this area, then we could really merit to see the redemption.  And who doesn’t want that?  After everything that has happened, even just in this past month.  We could use a better world.  Let’s try to make it so.

What are some ways you try to work on correct speech?  Any tips or tricks to help make it easier?

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Torah Tuesdays: Dusting off my Siddur

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Ooo – my first Torah Tuesdays post since the move!  I’m excited about this.

Way back when, in the single-me days (okay, it really wasn’t that long ago), I was pretty great at davening twice a day.  So great, in fact, that when I heard mommies of little kids comment on how they hadn’t davened from a siddur in ages, I would think to myself,

“Wow, that will never be me.”

Right.

Fast forward to, well, now, and I’m both laughing and cringing at my naiveté (not to mention my judgment, but, hey, it’s so easy to have strong opinions based on zero experience. . . ).  Let’s just say that the status quo for my davening is more along the lines of “in my own words” than “in the words of the sages.”  While I know that it’s totally acceptable to daven outside of the pages of the prayerbook, I really miss it. 

I like connecting to words written by great men, words that I know are helping connect me to really essential concepts of Judaism, and words that remind me of what I can strive to be.

There’s the first bracha, which reminds me that whatever is happening, it’s coming from Hashem, and how about the fourth bracha, which reminds me that I should ask for the ability to use my common sense and intuition.  Then there’s the bracha which asks for our eyes to be able to witness the return to Zion with compassion, and, one of my personal favorites,  the bracha for peace, reminding me that we were given a love of kindness, righteousness, blessing, compassion, life and peace.

That’s good stuff.

I find it really grounding to connect through these words and to have these concepts brought to the forefront of my mind.

Somewhere in the last two-and-a-half years, though, davening from a siddur  fell right off my priority list.  While I’ve become somewhat complacent about it, I have had more than a few twinges of remorse.

True, I have two little ones who need me, and are sometimes quite insistent about having my Full Attention.  Taking care of my kids is a totally valid reason to not pick up the siddur, and I’m cool with that.

Photograph,early 1900's,by one of the American...

That used to be me! Davening by the wall, I mean.

However, in the interest of intellectual honestsy, it’s not always “taking care of the kids” which is keeping me from davening.  There’s that first coffee of the day (’cause I do need it).  And popping on the computer to check Facebook (something really important could be happening!!!!!).  Or that load of laundry, or those toys which could be picked up, or a shopping list which needs to be made. . . you get the picture.

In the midst of all the hubbub of my life, one thought which keeps popping up is that I want my kids to see me davening.  From a siddur. Why?  I know that kids emulate what they see, and I want them to see me having a relationship with Hashem.

In my mind, that’s what I want.  In reality, however, I’ve been far from that role model.

In the gemara, it says that when you change your place, you change your mazel.  So I figured that since I’m in a new place, I have a new davening mazel.  With a big bli neder, I’m trying to make it more of a priority to daven from a siddur in the morning.

That’s right.  I’m going for it.

So far, I’ve been able to squeeze in a Shacharis while the boys have been entertaining each other, or eating breakfast, or while the baby is napping and the toddler is somewhat occupied.

It hasn’t always been smooth sailing (for instance, there was the time when my toddler started asking me for something when I was only on the third bracha.  He’s pretty persistant, so it was a refrain throughout most of the davening), and my kavanna definitely needs some work, but overall, it’s been very encouraging.  B”H.

What’s the point of this long and somewhat rambling post?  Basically, if there are areas in your life where you feel like you would like to improve, but through circumstance (and perhaps entropy), you feel like you’re in a rut, you can still improve.  It might be as simple as re-prioritizing, or you may need to give yourself more of an incentive (like a reward chart – gold stars!!).  Whichever it may be, if I can daven from a siddur, anything is possible.

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image from Wikipedia

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