Tag Archives: wifely duties

Menu Plan, week of July 17th

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Shortly after I moved, one of my friends asked me when I was going to make a menu plan again.  “After I finish unpacking,”  was my reply.  However, wandering the aisles of my new grocery store (I love you, Seven Mile!) with considerably less focus than usual was not super pleasant, or productive.

Cue heroic music, enter the menu planning. 

I’m not quite organized enough to plan for the whole month, but I will share my plan for this week (I was also going to share my plan for last week, but I used the back of it for my shopping list and it is now MIA.  Sorry).

Three fortuitous incidents helped shape my food choices:

Cover of "Kosher by Design Lightens Up: F...

thanks, Honey!

One, my husband bought me a new cookbook for my birthday (awww, isn’t he great?).  He got me Susie Fishbein’s Kosher By Design Lightens Up.  I had wanted a kosher cookbook that was on the healthier side (read:  no onion soup mix in the recipes, no deep-fried Chinese food recipes which I would wistfully ignore).  So far, I really like it.

Two, until very recently (like, Motzei Shabbos), all my books were packed.  The only reading material I had access to were my friend’s old copies of Binah (thank, E!) and my two years’ worth of Bon Appetit magazine.  So, I’ve been poring over many scrumptious and sumptuous recipes as well as educating myself on various foodie facts (did you know that this is the peak season for pluots?  Me neither.  I don’t even know where to get one, or what it is exactly!).  Jesting aside, I do love that every month, Bon Appetit picks a food at its seasonal peak and provides several delicious ways to prepare said food.  Also, the recipes for each month are appropriate for the season, which is something that I do want to become more familiar with.

Three, my mother is in town (yay!), so I am actually able to potchke around in the kitchen as she enjoys her grandmotherly privileges.

And now, the menu:

Sunday, July 17th

  • Ultimate Veggie Burgers ~ Kosher by Design Lightens Up (KBDLU); Oil and Vinegar Potato Salad ~Bon Appetit, July 2009 (BA 7/09) – it was sooo yummy, and I was able to pop the leftovers in the freezer for next week!

Monday, July 18th (A Pre-Fast Meal)

  • Eggplant Gazpacho (BA 7/09); Flounder with Fresh Dill and Lemon ~ from my brain (fmb); Kasha Pilaf (KBDLU)

Tuesday, July 19th (Shiva Asar b’Tammuz, ain’t no dinner tonight)

  • Break the fast with leftovers from Monday.  I tend to go on baking frenzies on fast days, so we’ll see if there’s anything else to eat)

Wednesday, July 20th

  • Spicy Chicken Peperonata with Lime and Mint Dressing (BA 7/09), served with warm tortillas, pareve sour cream, avocados and Near East Spanish Rice

Thursday, July 21st

  • Huevos Rancheros (KBDLU).

Shabbos night, July 22nd

  • Gefilte Fish, baked with Marinara sauce (fmb); Bok Choy Slaw (KBDLU); Chicken Soup (from freezer); Wheat Germ Crusted Chicken Cutlets (KBDLU); Lokshen Kugel ~ Spice and Spirit; Blueberry Crumb Bars (BA 7/09)

Shabbos day, July 23rd

  • Everything from the night, minus the fish and soup, and add cholent and liver (store bought, that).  Yum!

~ ~ ~

And there you have it.

Now, I do make a different thing every night, and my good friend, E, mentioned that she likes to make double and serve the same thing two nights in a row.  It sounds like a good plan to me, and since my children aren’t old enough to protest, and my husband is okay with leftovers, I may adopt this plan.  What I’ve done in the past is freeze the double portion and bring it back out a different week.  I have to decide which plan I prefer, I guess.

For those of you who menu plan, how do you factor in your leftovers?

———-

image via Amazon

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Torah Tuesdays: Even when you don’t feel like it

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Image by ANOXLOU via Flickr

This is not my laundry. I have much more.

We’ve been having some off days over here.  The sink’s been broken since Motzei Shabbos, and it has remained broken despite my, and my landlord’s, best efforts at fixing it.  A professional is coming tomorrow morning.  The kitchen is a disaster.  I still haven’t caught up on laundry since returning from our trip to Memphis, and the bins are overflowing.  I was actually going to get cleaning help last Thursday (usually it’s just up to me), but she was a no show.  And, to top it all off, my allergies have arrived in full force, leading to constant sneezing fits, a mild headache and general lethargy.  I need to purchase allergy medication, and soon!

This is in addition to a relatively demanding toddler and baby pair, who, thank G-d, really do require most of my attention most of the time.  I’m blogging now because I find it all utterly overwhelming.  Did I mention that I need to pack for our upcoming move?

Oy.

So, I wasn’t feeling greatly inspired to write a Torah Tuesdays post.  I was mildly hoping that some brilliant insight or pasuk from Pirkei Avos would just pop into my head, and I could write a witty and applicable post that would be both entertaining and helpful.  But, not so much.  Just a sniffly nose and desire to avoid doing actual housework.

Then something did occur to me (Baruch Hashem).  I remember learning in seminary that we should try to daven even when we don’t feel like it.  The idea was that, even on the days when we weren’t feeling overly spiritual, when we were feeling more spacey, or more connected to the physical world, we shouldn’t use the lack of inspiration to keep us from performing the mitzvos.  We were encouraged to continue the act of davening, to try and muster all the concentration and sincerity we could, because someday, when we would be feeling particularly inspired, the framework with which to daven to Hashem would be solidly intact, not a distant memory.  Kind of like practicing the piano even when there’s no concert coming up.

Okay, so that idea, of keeping up the routine even when you don’t feel like it, can totally apply to more than just davening.  It can apply to being pleasant to a loved one when a bad mood has descended upon you.  It can apply to wearing modest clothing when the latest styles are oh-so tempting.  It can certainly apply to mothering (especially at, say, three in the morning).  I am going to apply it to doing housework right now.  Even though I really don’t feel like it at all, keeping up a good routine is going to help me when my house is running smoothly again.

What are some examples in your life of things that you do even when you don’t feel like it? 

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You’re really a housewife, aren’tcha?

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Huisvrouw met mattenklopper / Housewife with c...

No, I just vacuum my rugs, thanks. (Image by Nationaal Archief via Flickr)

After Shabbos, I had the opportunity to speak with my “Aunt” Ruth (she’s really my mom’s aunt, which makes her, what, my great-aunt?  I don’t know.  We just call her Aunt Ruth).  It was just a quick on-and-off conversation, you know, some how-are-you-doings and how’s-the-weathers.  In between the requisite niceties, she mentioned that my mom had told her how much I cook and bake, and how busy I am with my little men.  Then she said it:

“You’re really a housewife, arent’cha?  You love it, don’tcha?”

Now, Aunt Ruth is the quintessential housewife.  Up early in the morning to make a hot breakfast for her family, making everything from scratch, and constantly concerned with how well-fed her loved ones are.

The answer to both of her questions is yes.  I am, and I do love it.  Sometimes I don’t even want to leave my house.  It’s just so warm and comfy in here.

Her comment was reinforced later in the evening, as I was baking up a batch of cookies for a few guests who were coming over, and I thought to myself  “hmmm, I should really have some dough in the freezer that I could just pop in the oven in a pinch.”

Why is this notable?  Well, only seven years ago I was a wandering, bohemian musician, playing clarinet in front of independently owned bookstores, having rigorous philosophical debates with grad students, collaborating on the spot at open mic nights.  What I was not doing was thinking about settling down, much less strategizing about the fastest way to make cookies for guests.

And here I am, with my apron and gloves, spit-up on my shoulder, house slippers on my feet, happy as can be.  Who would’ve thunk it?  Not me, that’s for sure.

When Aunt Ruth made those comments, I had the feeling that  I was connecting with her, and all the other old-school housewives from that era, despite the difference in time and backgrounds.  It was kind of epic.

What are some ways your life is unexpectedly different?

 

It’s like a three-ring circus over here

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"The Barnum & Bailey greatest show on ear...

Image via Wikipedia

That’s how it feels sometimes to have two kids under the age of two.

[spotlight on Ring #1.  The emcee's voice rings out over the stadium]

In the first ring we have our toddler, Little Man, awake and ready to face the day!  Who will get him from his crib?  What will he have for breakfast?  He’s requesting Kix!  And waffles!  And juice!  Mommy is going to the fridge for the cereal and milk, and to put the waffles in the toaster oven as Little Man takes his place at the table.

[spotlight on Ring #2.  Spotlight remains on Ring #1.  Mommy rushes between the rings]

In the second ring is the baby, slightly drowsy from a early-morning snack which was interrupted by Little Man’s awakening.  Will he stay quiet in his bouncy seat or will he make his presence known?  Will the pacifier stay in his mouth?  No!  It’s rolling down towards his feet!  Mommy is replacing it after delivering the cereal to Little Man.

[spotlight on Ring #3.  Spotlight remains on previous two rings.  Mommy continues her bustling]

In the third ring is Tatty, getting ready to daven and go to work.  Will Mommy make his lunch in time?  Will it include a note to bring a smile to his face?  Yes!  The sandwich is in the toaster oven and the couscous is cooking on the stove!  There will be food!  And a note!

As I, Mommy, am running from ring to ring meeting the needs of my family, I am also trying to make myself presentable, drink my coffee, daven, and eat breakfast.  It was three hours this morning of non-stop action.  Whew!

Some of you have larger families than I, and have to get your kids ready to go to school in the morning.  To you I say “Wow!”  “Nice job!”  “I’m impressed!” and  “How do you do it?”

Really, all of my mommying in the morning (and the rest of the day) is very manageable.  I enjoy it.  It’s kind of fun when I am able to relax and enjoy my boys.  I guess it is also like the circus insofar as I’m balancing between enjoyment (when the baby coos and smiles), suspense (will Little Man finish his breakfast?), fascination (are the baby’s eyes changing color?) and thrills (when Little Man climbs up on . . . anything).

It’s the greatest show on earth.

 

Eggplant Parmesan, or something like it

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I’ve been married for nearly three years (our anniversary is next month!), and it’s only in recent months that I’ve mustered up the courage to, wait for it, make food without following a recipe.  My cookbooks were my lifeline to making edible food.  Without guidelines to follow, I felt all panicky and insecure.  How long should I sauté the zucchini?  What temperature should the chicken be cooked at?  How much salt am I supposed to add?  Cookbooks provided soothing answers:  15 minutes.  375 degrees.  One teaspoon.

Relief.  Success.  Full stomachs.

At some point in the last half-year, I realized that I had gained enough experience and confidence to tentatively strike out on my own.  No longer was I bound to an ingredient list.  The only limitations were the supplies in my kitchen and the food in my cabinets.  It’s been kinda fun.

Yesterday I remembered that there was an eggplant in the crisper which I had intended to use for Shabbos, and hadn’t.  There was also a half-full jar of marinara sauce waiting to be finished, and thus, tonight’s dinner was born.

Eggplant Parmesan à la Rivki

serves 3

Ingredients:

  • olive oil
  • one large Eggplant
  • 3/4 jar Kalamata olives
  • one pint cherry tomatoes
  • one onion
  • crushed garlic
  • 1/2 jar marinara sauce
  • 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
  • basil, oregano, marjoram, kosher salt, pepper

I don’t know how Eggplant Parmesan is really made, but this is what I did:

First, I cut the eggplant into slices and then quarters, so it looked like this:

pretty little wedges

Then I seasoned them with s kosher salt and pepper and sautéed them in olive oil.  After they became nice and tender, I added the olives and cherry tomatoes (as a side-note, I have been looking ALL OVER for a kosher container of Kalamata olives for well over a year, and had finally given up.  Of course, that was when I actually found some.  I was ecstatic):

bright and colorful

Meanwhile, I sautéed the onions in a separate skillet before adding them to the other veggies.  Then I added the crushed garlic, marinara sauce, spices and cheese.  I simmered over a low flame for a few minutes, and voilà!  We added a loaf of garlic bread and some white zinfandel and it was a nice dinner.

dinner is served

 

 

Who needs external validation? Me, apparently.

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My mother-in-law left this morning.  She spent a glorious ten days with us.  Now, I know that the stereotypical mother-in-law may not be a welcome house-guest, but thankfully, my mother-in-law is hardly stereotypical!    I won’t go into detail about the massive amount of help she provided, but will just mention that I am extremely well-rested.

Now that the radio silence is over, we will hopefully by back to our regularly scheduled programming.  Things are going to be a little hectic here soon, not just on account of my lack of extra hands, or my husband’s crazy working schedule.  No, no, the busy-making is my own doing.  I’m starting up the piano lessons again (largely in part to the attrition from my last piano-teaching hiatus; I lost most of my studio back when Little Man was a newborn), have a performance in a week, and another one shortly after that.  Whee!

While I am almost certainly guilty of over-commitment, I am happiest when busy.  It’s usually feast or famine with potential projects.  I’m either spending much of my day leisurely drinking coffee and catching up on blogs (well, as leisurely as a mommy of tiny ones can get), or multi-tasking like a champ.  I feel much more productive when I can check off a large number of tasks off of my to-do list.

thank goodness for self-entertaining toddlers!

Really, though, as a mommy wife, homemaker, etc., my permanent to-do list is always large enough that it should provide that productive feeling.  It doesn’t though.  I don’t acknowledge the tasks.  Why not?  Dunno.  Maybe because they are so constant, or necessary, or implied.  Or maybe because there’s no external reinforcement; it’s all me.

What would a typical day’s to-do list look like?

  • feed the baby
  • put baby in his bouncy seat
  • make coffee
  • take Little Man out of crib
  • change LM’s diaper
  • feed LM breakfast (no small task, that one)
  • drink coffee
  • clean LM’s hands
  • change the baby’s diaper
  • feed the baby
  • put the baby in his bouncy seat
  • clean up from breakfast
  • maybe eat something
  • play with LM
  • give the baby the pacifier
  • change LM’s diaper
  • give the paci back to the baby
  • give LM a snack
  • change the baby
  • feed the baby
  • put the baby in his bouncy seat
  • read LM a book
  • give the baby the pacifier
  • give the baby another pacifier, as LM took the original one

Okay, I lost my motivation to complete the list, and I wasn’t even up to lunch.  You get the idea, though.  It’s A LOT of things to do.  All the time.  It’s such a routine, though, that I really don’t notice.  It’s simply the structure of my day.  This may be why I don’t feel like a majorly successful accomplisher every day (yes, I know accomplisher is not a word).  But I should.  We all should.  Give yourself a pat on the back, right now.  Good job.

 

Grilled Cheese and Jalapeno Sandwich

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This sandwich came about because I didn’t have any tomatoes in the house.  You see, normally I enjoy my grilled cheese sandwiches with some sliced tomatoes and mayo.  Mmmmmm.  So, not that day.  No tomatoes to be had.  I did have jalapenos, though, since I still haven’t given them to Nikki Flores.  I was a little nervous because the jar said that the peppers were HOT.  HOT!! Was I ruining my sandwich because of a desire for a little pizzaz?

Thankfully, no.  It was a delicious sandwich, with a nice kick.  A meal with a little attitude.  It seems like unassuming grub, but when you bite into a pepper – Whammo!  I was quite pleased.

open face

it may not look super appetizing, but do not be deceived!

meal, grilled cheese sandwich, sandwish

After the taste test...success!

multi-grain bread

cheddar cheese

mayonnaise

sliced jalapenos

taco seasoning

sweet paprika

pepper

garlic powder

Being unpleasant to the ones we love the most.

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Stress

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday was a stressful day.  I was scheduled to play in a concert in the evening, and before that happened, I needed to sterilize the breast pump, pump some milk for the baby, sterilize the bottles (they were still in the package), take a shower, get my instruments and music from the car, write and print out some music for the concert, fix up my hair and make myself presentable.

While this may not seem like a lot to do, take into account the toddler who needs to be fed and mommied, and the infant who needs to eat every two hours, and it becomes a bit overwhelming.  Okay, a lot overwhelming.

Fortunately, my husband was only working until about noon (which meant he came home at 1:30).

Unfortunately, I was already on the way to certifiable at that time.  He called on his way home to ask if I could make him noodles for lunch.  Normally, this would be fine, but my counter was full of dirty fleishig dishes, and the only milchig pot I own was crusted with the remains of last week’s noodles with white sauce (yeah, you try to keep up with dishes three weeks after having a baby).  The part of me which wants to be a “good wife” wanted to clean the pot and make noodles for my husband.  The part of me which is realistic and was overwhelmed wanted to go “AAAAaarararggghhhhhhhhuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

After hearing a response which was somewhat a mix of those two sentiments, my husband decided that it would be better to pick something up at the store.

When he came home, I was still feeling guilty about not making him lunch (though I did clean all the fleishig dishes, to my credit).  I also hadn’t quite figured out the best schedule for the evening.  When should I leave to make it to the sound check?  How much in advance of the concert should I get there?  My band sisters did tell me that I could show up when it worked for me, but I also wanted to get there in enough time to at least run through each song once.  My brain was too cluttered to be able to make a cogent decision, so I hadn’t decided yet.

Hubby attempted to ask me how long I thought I would be gone.  Me, in total overwhelmed and guilty mode, said that I hadn’t decided yet.  He, in nervous-to-be-taking-care-of-both-the-kids-for-the-first-time-especially-since-the-baby-hadn’t-ever-taken-a-bottle-yet, asked me a couple more times, in slightly different ways, when I would be going and how long I would be gone and maybe I could take the baby with me at least until the concert started?

Enter crazy-flipped-out version of me.

It was too much, and I wasn’t able to maintain the most level head (haha understatement).

During my little freak-out session, a friend called.  I was completely cordial to her, and even joked around pleasantly.  All the while, my husband, who I had just been quite rude to, was siting maybe eight feet from me.

What is WITH that?

Why can I be pleasant to my friend on the phone when I’ve just been unpleasant to my husband three seconds before?

There’s some law in human interaction where the ones we love the most bear the brunt of our less ideal traits.  My mother definitely gets to see the worst side of me (sorry, mom), and my husband is a close second.  Thankfully, my friend calling jerked me back to reality and I realized that I was reacting because of my stress level.  And that wasn’t how I wanted to interact with my husband.

You and your spouse are faced with constant choices about how you will speak and act with each other. Some choices will make you partners in fulfilling the blessings that you received at your wedding. Other choices will take you far away from those blessings. Hopefully, you and your spouse will make the wise choices that will make your life “an echo of the Garden of Eden.”

(From Rabbi Pliskin’s book “Marriage”, Chapter One, pp.21-2)

It’s hard for me to really accept that my behavior with my husband is my choice.  True, I have certain triggers and am prone to certain reactions, depending on the situation.  But it’s my responsibility to be aware of those triggers and reactions, and try to circumvent any, shall we say, unpleasant interactions.

Marriage can be either the source of life’s greatest joys… or the root of much misery, even tragedy.

There is a five-word formula that is the key to a joyous marriage. “Don’t cause pain, give pleasure.” Both with words and deeds, be careful not to cause your spouse needless pain. And do as much as you can to give your spouse pleasure. Your capacity for kindness is unlimited!

(From Rabbi Pliskin’s book  “Marriage,”  Chapter Two, p.123)

Yes!  That’s more like it.  However, it’s not always easy for me to remember this formula when I’m feeling stressed, overwhelmed or tired (which are, unfortunately, some of my main feelings in this crazy post-partum time).  But it is so worth it.  My husband is a fantastic husband, and I want to let him know this by my actions, not just by me telling him.

What are some ways that you let your loved ones know how much they mean to you?

 

 

Top o’ the fridge to you

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thhhhhhhhhpppppp!

I’ve only been married for about two-and-a-half years, so I’m still getting the hang of this whole “domestic maven” thing.  I mean, who knew that an apartment inhabited only by a wife, husband and toddler could get so dirty?  Where does this dirt come from?  I don’t remember inviting it in.

One thing which I’m still realizing is that there are  easily forgettable surfaces which still get dirty!  For instance, the top of the fridge.  I can understand the floor, the stovetop, the oven, the counters…sure!  I use those constantly.  It makes sense to me that they would be dirty.  But the top of the fridge?  It just doesn’t make it into my cleaning rotation.

Because of this oversight, some grossness had occurred up there.  I use that surface area for storing various dry goods: Cereal; coffee;  snack crackers and chips;  and, currently, a massive bottle of vegetable oil which I bought instead of my more common normal-sized bottle.  Lately, when I’ve been getting my coffee, there has been a disturbing sound accompanying the act.

“thhhhhhhhhppppp.”

That is the sound of stickiness.

And that is when I realized that the top of the fridge needed a good scrubbing.

This post isn’t to remind you to clean the top of your fridge (although I do recommend doing it on a somewhat regular basis), but rather to share with you a great idea I got while on the phone with my mother a couple of nights ago (she said to me, “you should put that on your blog!”):

Line the top of the fridge with paper!!!!

We receive many, many fliers advertising all sorts of specials, deals, whatever.  Usually they just go in the recycling.  However, it occurred to me that I could use these to line things in my apartment, like the bottom of the trash can, and now, the top of the fridge!

Really, if anyone had told me ten years ago that I would be this excited about lining the top of my fridge (four exclamation marks?) so that cleaning it later would be a breeze, I would have rolled my eyes in disbelief.  But, believe it!  It’s a time saver!  And who doesn’t love that?  Plus, I’ll be saving on cleaning supplies, since all I will need to do to “clean” the top of my fridge in the future is switch out the papers.  Score.

Here’s the play-by-play:

ewwwww - needs a good scrub down!

much better

all covered up

ta-da!

A salad by any other name…

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It used to be that when I thought of salad, images of iceberg lettuce would dance through my head.  Or maybe Romaine, or mixed greens, or even spinach.  The point is, there had to be leafy greens in the bowl for it to be considered a salad in my book.

Then I married my husband, and a whole new world of salads was opened to me.  Partially because I invested in, or was given as gifts, some great cookbooks, and partially because my husband comes from a different cultural background (Ukrainian),  I found out that salad doesn’t require lettuce.  It doesn’t!  There are whole pages of salad recipes that don’t require a single leafy green!  They are composed of just plain vegetables!  My mother-in-law makes yummy salads that are completely leaf-free!

This was a revelation to me, plus great news, because sometimes I just don’t feel like checking lettuce for bugs, and have had my experiences with bagged lettuce.

Here is a recipe for a yummy, fresh, leaf-free, quick salad.  These are more or less my go-to ingredients for a salad.  If there had been a cucumber available, I would’ve thrown it in as well.

Salad, Recipe, Health, Food, Cooking

Look Ma, no leaves!

one pint cherry tomatoes, halved

1/2 green pepper, diced

a dozen or so olives, halved

to taste:

soy sauce

garlic powder

onion powder

pepper