Well, it is now the day before our anniversary, and just ask me if I’ve prepared whatsoever for it. Just ask. Of course not! This procrastination habit of mine has reached new heights, unfortunately. I’d love to say that I’ve been too busy keeping the house spotless and cooking gourmet meals, volunteering for the sick and needy and practicing music diligently, but then I wouldn’t be telling the truth. I have been keeping up, for the most part, with the dishes, laundry, cooking and (some) cleaning, but not to the extent that I would expect myself to. This is the part where my mother reminds me that pregnant ladies aren’t exactly functioning at full capacity. But why not? My doula reminds me that this is the only pregnancy where I’ll be granted “precious vessel” status (i.e., my husband doesn’t let me exert myself, lift things, work hard, etc.), whereas the next ones (G-d willing), I’ll be a mommy to little ones already, and be expected to keep it up!!
But this whole “precious vessel” status is not what it’s cracked up to be (IMHO). I haven’t felt great about lounging for nine months. It’s like being out of work – the first couple days of freedom are wonderful, and then reality sets it. Sure, not working full-time has been great, but in the end, I feel the lack of productivity in my life has been dragging me down. And since I can’t claim to be too busy to accomplish all the things that I dreamed of doing in my non-full-time-worker life (because I’m clearly not too busy), I have to deal with the stark reality: I am a normal human being who thrives on pressure and deadlines and withers without structure. Surprise!
Okay, so being a perfectionist (who is slowly reforming, thank you very much), it’s hard to acknowledge that I have this “flaw,” this tendency toward inactivity. Thankfully, I’m aware that I am able to change! Also, that I’m going to have a baby very soon (less than a month, according to the due date), which will be introducing a drastically new schedule to my life, regardless of my goals.
Inertia, though, is an extremely strong force. My sedentary lifestyle has a very substantial pull (so strong, in fact, that writing a blog entry is sometimes too much effort, as evidenced by my lack of consistent posting!). This is a slight problem, considering the imminence of labor. I simply cannot procrastinate certain things. Like making a birth plan. It wouldn’t be much help post-partum. Or determining if the hospital has kosher food. Kinda need to know that beforehand. How about finishing that wedding album? Don’t think I’ll progress much on that after little baby Silver shows up!
Right. So I need to kick it into high gear, like, now. I suppose I’ll start with planning the anniversary present. I think I’ll try to finish the wedding album tonight/tomorrow so I can present it to my husband as a gift. There’s not too much left, and it would be a nice thing to look through on our anniversary, no? It’s also free (or at least the materials have already been paid for), and since we don’t exactly have much in the way of liquid assets, that’s a pretty important factor. I know we’re going out for dinner tomorrow at the fancy restaurant, and he probably has some other gift for me. I think I’ll do the album and get him a nice card, and that will be that.
Questions, comments, opinions? They are all welcome!!