Basically, that’s where I’m holding. Earlier today, I meant to start a sentence with the words, “My husband,” and instead said, “My father.” I also picked up a pack of diaper wipes which beautifully display various Disney princesses…for my 13-month-old son. Not that he cares. I just usually try to get cars, or something gender neutral. I also took my binder out of the bottom of my stroller, placed it on a podium (I was in a gym, for a rehearsal for a school play), then went to find a tissue. When I returned, I looked on the bottom of my stroller for the aforementioned binder, and for at least 45 seconds, had a minor panic attack involving images of where along my 25-minute walk the binder, with all my music, papers which still need to be graded and various other important stuff, could have fallen. And then I remembered that it was right in front of me.
I’m not even 30, and yet, yeah. I even get 6-8 hours of sleep on a regular basis. I think it’s partly mommyhood and partly too much internet exposure (Ahem, Hulu), but I’m not sure if I’m ever going to return to the level of coherence that I used to be on.
And then I think, hey, how coherent was I in college anyways?
And then I think, hey, how coherent was I during shidduchim?
And then I feel better.
I mean, most women I know are pretty fragmented, between the duties of home (even with a helpful spouse), the duties of work, or school (because many of us do), the duties of motherhood (for those of us who do), and then attempting to do the duties of self (like writing a blog entry every five months). So, if approximately half the population is in a similar boat, at any stage in life, than it’s probably just a matter of adjusting to whatever stage of fragmentation is currently happening.
I don’t know. I usually get strangely philosophical when I’m exhausted.