Marriage

Oh, so you married a DOCTOR?!!

It started when we got engaged.  People would ask, “So, what does your chosson do?”  I would reply, “He’s in medical school.”  Eyebrows would raise; heads would nod approvingly.  “Ah, a doctor,”  they would say.

Call me naive, but I was in the dark as to what exactly was the big deal.  One of my friends pointed out that it was every Jewish mother’s dream to have a doctor for a son-in-law.  But I wasn’t marrying a doctor, I was marrying a man, a really great man.

When we were planning our wedding, one venue director had the chutzpah to tell me that the $12,000 minimum they charged for using their venue would only be a drop in the bucket, since I was marrying a doctor.  I’m not sure if she meant that it would be a drop in the bucket of the massive debt he was accruing in med school, or if it would be a breeze to pay back because we would be fabulously wealthy.  Either way, we used a different location.

It’s continued after marriage as well.  Friends make references about how we won’t have to worry about finances when Hub is finished with residency.  Things, like my complete inability to remember the prices of supermarket items, are attributed to my imminent affluence (instead of to my faulty memory).

Well, sorry to disappoint everyone, but Hub is going into general practice.  Ain’t a lot of money in that (no, really, there’s not).  Plus, we want a bunch of kids, and they’re all going to private school, and I don’t think we’re going to get any scholarships ’cause, well, he’s a doctor.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that there’s a certain amount of job security (unfortunately, it’s because people are always getting sick), and it’s a noble field and all, but the hours are lousy and the debt is high.  It’s also kind of annoying to have Hub’s potential income discussed so publicly and so often.

But it’s okay, because I married a doctor.  heehee.

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Oh, so you married a DOCTOR?!!

  1. OMG I can so relate to this blog! Everyone does the eyebrow raising thing when I say Erik is a chiropractor – when in reality we have student loans up to our neck and he had to open his own practice which was another cool financial investment. I really don’t think people realize how much money and time goes into becoming a medical professional. And agreed – when the hard work and investment is paying off down the road most of it will be spent on our future kids. But yes when we tell people we can go on a trip or to a concert because money is tight they look at us crosseyed. Great blog Rivki!

  2. I hope you live in an area where the malpractice insurance won’t eat up all his income. A family in my area had to move to a state with limits on the suits because of that.

  3. Katie – I was thinking that you could probably relate to this one!

    Ariella – the mere thought of malpractice makes me shudder. I think it’s in Atul Gawande’s book Better (an excellent read) that he mentions that every surgeon can assume that they will be sued at least once. Crazy.

  4. Believe it or not, I get a lot of nods and sideways glances when I tell people what my hubs does … but not for good reasons! He’s a police officer, and people generally don’t like cops, unless they need them. I’d be willing to bet that cops and doctors have the same lousy hours and probably the same number of lawsuits! : )

  5. A lot of people are good at figuring out yenem’s cheshbon. It’s like how people who have never been to the U.S. think we all live like people on television. Wish I had a snappy comeback to suggest, but I don’t.

    –Amy Smith

  6. Hi Amy! You mean you don’t live like you’re on the OC? Even if I had a snappy comeback, I wouldn’t remember to use it. Probably a good thing in the long run. :)

  7. I’d have thought the biggest problem would be that at parties, everyone starts undressing the moment he learns about your husband’s profession. “…oh, by the way, I’ve a strange pain here, and there, can you tell me what it is…?”

    1. Oh my gosh, I’m SO glad that is not a problem! We do get a lot of neighbors who bring their kids to see my husband, and since he’s not a pediatrician, it’s kind of a mismatch.

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