Parenting

Third Trimester Musings

Cover of "Waiting for Baby"
Cover of Waiting for Baby

And no, I’m not talking about collegiate semesters here (although I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned there, too).  I’m talking about the ninth month, the final sprint, the end-is-in-sight part of pregnancy.

For me, more than during the other parts of pregnancy, I am reminded of just how little control I have over things.  True, there are inductions that could be scheduled, which would lend a certain amount of control (or at least the illusion of control), but as a frum Jew, I can’t schedule an induction purely for convenience, but only for medical necessity.  So I could forget about making it easier for my mother and mother-in-law to book their flights.

So here I am, waiting.

Waiting for Baby Silver #2 to make his or her entrance.  And there is little I can really do to determine exactly when that will be.  Sure, there are all sorts of tips and tricks which I tried last time, when I was expecting Little Man.  However, I don’t think any of them really worked (I think I tried everything except drinking Castor Oil – ewwwww).  This time around, I’m taking a more laid back approach.  The baby will come when the baby will come.  I am zen mommy.  Ohmmmmm.

Tomorrow is my due date.  This date, which seems like pure conjecture, I might add, is only around in order to frustrate mommies who gestate just a little longer than ACOG’s calculations.  That is my opinion.  Little Man decided that he wanted to be born six days past his due date.  Six days.  Even though I knew that my due date was merely an estimation, it was still very disappointing to see that day come and go.  And then the next day.  And then the next day.

Being in the third trimester is a study in time relativity.

Really, it’s just a reminder that I am not in control.  Not even a little.  Sure, I can make decisions like “I want the brown Pack’n’play instead of the blue one,” or “I think I’ll buy the yellow sheet for the crib.”  But really, aside from that, I got nothin’.  I will wait for labor to start, and then things will proceed as they do.

In the mornings, when I say the morning brachos, I’ve had increased concentration on “matir asurim.”  This means, according to my Artscroll siddur, “Who releases the bound.”  I keep thinking, “Well, this baby sure is bound up in my tummy.  Maybe G-d will decide that today is the day to release this baby.”

Until then, I’m going to continue cleaning my apartment, baking cookies, freezing food, playing with Little Man and enjoying this relative calm before the flurry of activity and sleep deprivation which lies ahead (G-d willing),  and use this as an opportunity to keep things in perspective.  I’m not the one running the show.  Which is probably a good thing.  Okay, definitely a good thing.

 

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18 thoughts on “Third Trimester Musings

  1. First of all, I never wished you a proper “B’sha’ah Tova”! May your labor be quick and easy, smooth and painless and may it be worth the wait!

    Our family joke about the due date is-you are not a library book! Library books have due dates, people don’t! The doctors call it an estimated due date because they cannot know for sure when the baby will come along – their date is just a guess. Hope the waiting time passes easily and your precious little baby comes along soon!

  2. oh, that ninth century! My heart goes out to you! And forget all those remedies for labor induction- I tried all of them. Nothing. I never went into labor (did I even tell you my whole birth story? I don’t remember!) even with scaling up and down the stairs of my building, eating burning hot chinese food, walking, davening, and plenty of other things- excluding the castor oil which Rebn. Chalkowski doesn’t recommend because she says it’s dehydrating effect can exhaust the mother right when she needs her strength the most- to get through the labor. Many things, I discovered, can be effective to move you along once you are IN the earliest stages of labor, but I heard that those earliest stages are actually induced by the baby himself (or, Hashem causing the baby to start the process).
    In any case I can’t WAIT for your next baby!! Yay Rivki!!!

  3. So, I have a great story that may or may not make you laugh. My last baby was due around Thanksgiving. Kind of perfect timing because my husband would be on vacation from school. To make sure everything went smoothly, I went ahead and scheduled an induction date one week before, called my mother-in-law to see if she could fly out, and felt completely ready. It was such a relief.

    My baby? He had other plans. I started having contractions around week 35. I put myself on bedrest, in the evening, and was able to control them. When they started getting stronger and stronger–at 36–I was at the end of my rope. Literally. I called my doctor sobbing because I was so tired. Frankly, I didn’t want the baby to come but I did want something to stop the contractions. Tylenol just wasn’t cutting it. So, they prescribed me something, I took it, and tried to get some rest. The baby came at 8 the next morning. So much for my planning. He happened to come the morning before my husband’s HUGE Organic Chemistry test.

    I think I’ve learned my lesson.

    Or not.

    OK. I didn’t. I’m sure for the next baby I will try to do the same thing. Maybe you should print this up, mail it to me, and demand that I put it somewhere where I can read it daily. Like a sort of … mantra or something. : )

    Hey, I am praying that the delivery is fast (though not too fast) and predictable. I am also praying that this baby comes when he or she (I can’t remember) is ready.

    1. Wow! That is quite a story! It reminds me of a friend who gave birth at 37 and a half weeks and was thinking, “Wait! No! I’m not ready yet!” I would definitely print it up and mail it to you, if I wasn’t sure I would lose it in the interim. :) Thanks for the good wishes!

  4. b’shaah tova! I also tried just about everything with my baby, with one exception (ok, two – I didn’t use caster oil) and my “little” one didn’t decide to join us until 13 days after her due date! What was that one exception? It is apparently gauranteed to work, but no one I’ve spoken to is actually willing to do it – drink a glass of breast milk mixed with a raw egg! Your calmness about baby #2 should be a lesson to all of us – can’t wait to hear the good news! It should be a laida kalah!

    1. Amen! Thanks! And that recipe for breast milk and raw egg – Ack! It doesn’t even sound safe to try! I can’t believe that you had to wait 13 days. I didn’t realize it was that long. My doctor won’t even let me wait that long. B”H, baby Besser is here and super cute!

  5. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

    Isn’t the last part the worst? Just the waiting and waiting… Although both of mine were born between 36 and 37 weeks. They were both average weight, and since I’m only 4’10” (really), I think my body is never gonna hold one of those suckers till 40 weeks!!

    I can’t wait to keep reading and see how it goes!

    1. Thanks! Thanks for stopping by, too! The end is definitely very trying. I suppose it has to be that way so that we actually *want* to go into labor. I’m built like a birthing machine, so I think my babies get really comfy in there. A good and slightly annoying thing. :)

  6. my niece, sophie, came two weeks after the due date (and only after being induced). she was obviously very comfortable in the womb and my sister was happy to keep her in there. hope your baby shows up very soon! stay comfortable.

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