Those were the wise words a good friend of mine spoke to me when I was engaged to my husband. The entire idea was something to the effect of,
“There will be times when you think that your husband is broken or something. He’s not. He’s just a guy. They’re just different from us.”
I had already believed that men and women were fundamentally different. It’s not that I had read John Gray’s book, rather, the Torah lays it out pretty clearly that men and women are different. We need different things spiritually and emotionally, and we’re obviously different physically. We think differently. We do things differently.
So despite this understanding, I somehow still expected my husband to behave like a clone of myself when doing things around the house. What? Yeah. Silly.
This notion that everything should be done my way (which is obviously the best way, of course) sometimes clouds my ability to appreciate my husband’s help around the house. I love that he helps. It’s fantastic, especially considering his crazy busy schedule. But when he helps it’s just so . . . male. And it’s all too easy for me to pick at the differences from how I would have done it (because, again, my way is clearly superior).
Does it really matter? No. In fact, it’s nice to see him do things his way. Sometimes I learn things about how he thinks. Sometimes it helps me see a different side to my children. Sometimes it helps me to see a different side to myself. Sometimes his way is better (gasp!).
So ladies, even when your husband “cleans up the living room” or “helps to set the table,” try to see it as: your husband cleans up the living and helps to set the table. No qualifying quotation marks needed. Just appreciation.