I would love to say that I have these all the time, but I don’t. Whenever I do have one, it intrigues me.
For instance, tonight, Really Little Man was acting lethargic and generally tired. Since he has a bit of a cold, was just playing hard outside, and woke up early this morning, I wasn’t surprised to see him fading. I didn’t think much of it, besides a brief thought of “well, I guess I’ll put him to bed a little earlier tonight.” I was in the process of carrying him to his room to do the diaper change/pajama donning routine when he projectile vomited. Of course, as a reflex, when he started to throw up, I pivoted, and thusly covered even more area, including the open dresser drawers and changing pad area. Nice.
Here’s were the zen moment comes in: I was totally calm. Never mind that I had multiple things simmering on the stove, or that I am so largely pregnant (I’m due on Thursday, ftr) that I can’t even manage picking up the toys in the house, much less clean up a massive mess. Or that I’m already woefully behind on laundry, or any number of reasons why it would have been completely reasonable to find the scenario utterly overwhelming.
I barely blinked. I was like, um, something really calm. An elephant? A non-charging elephant, that is. I will take suggestions on similes, thanks.
Maybe it has something to do with stepping up to the plate when there’s a poor, yucky-feeling kiddo in my arms. Maybe it’s the way he rested his head on my shoulder after he was done throwing up. I don’t know. But I calmly cleaned him up, laid him in his crib, and cleaned up the mess. The clothes are in the wash right now. Little Man found the whole process fascinating (of course). And so did I.
Funny how, when the boys are fighting (again) over who gets to play with a specific toy (even though we have a gazillion), I can practically feel my blood pressure rising. Same thing when there are those little power struggles, when my boys are asserting their independence, and I am asserting my Mommyness. I can get really stressed out. But when something objectively overwhelming happens, I can be cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce (yes, that is a reference). Not all the time, unfortunately, but enough that I suppose it’s just a massive dose of siyatta d’shmaya. And I’m grateful for that.
Do you ever surprise yourself with resiliency in difficult moments?