This week has been much better than last week. Thank you for your support and encouragement! Today is the first day in a week that both of my boys are at school. Normally, I find this kind of free time paralyzing, and have, on more than one occasion, completely frittered it away on Buzzfeed or Pinterest or some other vortex-like site.
Currently, I have the dual pressures of needing to practice for a gig, and also needing to write my weekly post. No matter how hectic my schedule has gotten, I have really tried to stick to a one-post-per-week schedule. This week, as Sunday and Monday melded together in some sort of harrowing parental gauntlet, I was not exactly able to do either. And due to the everyday challenges of keeping the house functional and devising ways to trick my kids into eating, I have not been feeling highly motivated to do a post.
Indeed, I have not been feeling highly motivated to do much of anything. Yesterday, when my oldest, in a voice full of love and excitement, suggested that we bake some cookies, I barely responded. I think I told him that I was going to take a nap first, and that we would do it “later.” And when later came, I wasn’t exactly a paragon of patience.
Now, I’m all for midday napping, and making sure that a Mommy nurtures herself, but clearly I was on edge, and a mere 30 minutes of rest wasn’t going to cut it. I needed an attitude shift.
This morning, after seeing a wise friend of mine share this post about taking time to be calm, present and grateful, I realized that I’ve been so focused on what I “need” to do that I forgot that I can say no to things. I don’t have to write a post. It’s a self-imposed deadline. I don’t have to practice today. The gig isn’t until the 26th. I don’t have to clean the kitchen, or pick up the toys. The dishes will be dirty again (sooner than it seems possible, really), and the toys will continue to clutter the house (which is a maddening blessing). These things are always waiting for me.
So, this is all the posting I’m doing today.
Ironically, once I stopped feeling like I had to do all the things, all the things suddenly become so much easier to do. I cleaned the kitchen, picked up the toys, put away some laundry (!!!), wrote this post, and I’m about to practice. Oh, and I made these cookies, too.
I should reverse psychologize myself more often, apparently.