First things first, I want to give a huge mazel tov to a newlywed couple: Emily and Azi, your wedding was absolutely epic, and the feeling of joy was so palpable it was spilling out of the hall. Just like your simcha was magnificent, down to the last detail, the simcha in your life together should continue to be magnificent!
I love me a good Jewish wedding. Jam-packed with meaning and joy, the wedding goers are exhorted to make the bride and groom happy. And so, at the reception, one can see stately, elegant women doing crazy shtick and fancy footwork all in the name of making the new couple smile. Even if I’m feeling a little sad, the collective feeling of “yippee!” is enough to lift me up.
Another thing I enjoy about going to a wedding is the time-machine effect. As I’m watching the bride experience her special day, I can’t help but think back to my own wedding, and all the excitement and nervousness that I felt. All that potential, all those possibilities, all those anniversaries that I had yet to experience.
The marriage ceremony is a very auspicious time to pray for the things everyone wants in life – health, happiness, children, livelihood, stability, long life. At Emily and Azi’s wedding, they had some beautiful suggestions of things to pray for (I wish I had kept a copy of their program!), like having a home always full of laughter and joy, and to always see the good in each other.
These kind of idealistic sentiments bring out all the gushy feelings in me. It reminds me of the ideals and goals I had for my marriage, and of how much I appreciate my husband, and how glad I am to be married to him.
Now, one might think that if marriage is so great, why does it take going to someone else’s wedding for me to remember this? Hmmm? Well, being married is wonderful. But like most things that are wonderful, it takes effort to keep it wonderful. Two people coming together into one home and one life will inevitably lead to some differences of opinion, and add the normal (and sometimes very abnormal) stresses of life, and well, we have our work cut out for us.
Also, like many things that are wonderful but regular, it’s easy to take it for granted. Sometimes being married becomes just another part of the scenery of my life, and I forget to stop and appreciate it. I will fall into a pattern of only paying attention to what I feel my husband is *not* doing and forget to look at all the things he *is* doing.
So thank you, Emily and Azi (and to your families and everyone involved in making the simcha), for prompting me to look at my marriage with fresh eyes, and to remember:
To always look at my husband through a positive lens
To express my appreciation frequently
To think about his needs at least as much as my own
To be a good friend
To have my eyes light up when he walks through the door
To truly listen to him
To try and see things from his perspective
To keep working on myself and not become complacent
What do you focus on to keep your marriage magnificent?