The “Only A Mom” Myth

Since today is my day to be a featured blogger over at SITS, and some new faces (hi!) will be popping by to check out my blog, I had all this ambition to craft a witty, intelligent and finely written post to highlight all the stuff I write about, and, more important, to convey my essence.

And then that little voice inside of me started laughing maniacally.

maniacal laughter

Who am I kidding?  At the end of the day, I’m usually so tired that all I have energy to do is scroll listlessly through my Facebook feed and look at Pinterest eye-candy.

If I’m going to get really honest, I’m usually so exhausted that simply washing my face and brushing my teeth are monumental achievements.  It’s just such a grueling day.

And what, pray tell, am I doing that is so tiring?  Am I the ruler of a small country?  CEO of a multi-million dollar business?  Successful brain surgeon?  Rocket scientist?  Astronaut on the international space station?

No.  I’m only a mom.

oh brother

One of the things that I think is so amazing about the blogging world, specifically the mommy bloggers out there, is that through sharing our experiences, our successes and failures, our hopes and fears, we help bring attention to how important and how taxing being a mother can be.

I’ve had to become an expert in nutrition, health, medicine, psychology, superheroes, religion, humility, balance, self-care and patience.  WHY DIDN’T THEY HAVE A MAJOR FOR THIS IN COLLEGE?!?!

No, really, that Russian Drama course I took has certainly helped me with my parenting.  No matter how grim things seem, they are always more upbeat than any Chekhov play.

The wealth of blogs out there also show how there is no one way to be a mom.  There are working moms and stay-at-home moms, there are moms who love attachment parenting and others who need more space, there’s about a bazillion different opinions, sometimes just from the same mom (cough cough, been there).

I’ve been so happy to see non-mommy blog posts and videos that give props to just what it takes to be a mom.  While I do have pockets of down time during the day, being the mom of three little people sure does take a lot of doing.  From the moment I get up until the moment I close my eyes, the bulk of my energies are focused on them, on the things I do to take care of them, on ways to make my job better, to help them become their best selves.

No wonder I’m so tired!

As any mom will likely agree, it’s so worth it.  Every bedtime snuggle, every little “I wuv you,” every boo-boo we kiss or lego creation we assist with is precious.

Jewish tradition teaches that each child is specifically given to their set of parents.  We are meant for each other, and are uniquely suited to raise whatever children we are given (this counts for non-biological children, too, btw).

So if you happen to be feeling beaten down by refused dinners, boycotted bath times, crib escapes and other hijinks, chin up.  You’re doing the most important job in the world, and no one can do it better than you.  We’re all allowed to be human; no one is expected to be perfect.  Each day is a fresh start, and there’s a whole community of moms here, ready to root you on.

Go team Mom!

He's really growing so fast!
Three cheers for moms!

62 thoughts on “The “Only A Mom” Myth

  1. Rivki! You amaze me! I’m so proud of you for continuing to explore who you are in the world. I can tell you this: G-d absolutely exists. He has been carrying me all these months! I’m feeling so much better — I’m really starting to notice incredible improvement over the last 2 weeks — and I pray that I will be ab;e to connect with you in person some day in the not so distant future. I’m dreaming of having a few select blogging friends come stay with me in my place in Florida for a weekend. What do you think? Do you think you’d be allowed to slip away at some point this summer?

    xo Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson Writer • Content Creator • Hat Enthusiast


    1. I would LOVE love love love to do that. If possible. I’d have to do some creative childcare arrangements, but it would be so worth it. And I pray that your improvement just continues to continue. So nice to see you back online. So nice.

  2. 1. If I get to bed at night not exhausted, I wonder how much Ieft on the table as a dad.

    2. “Just a mom” is like saying “just a million dollars” or “just free pizza.”

    3. When I coach 17 kids for 90 minutes of noisy soccer, coming home to three sometimes feels easier. Sometimes.

    1. Thanks! I think until you’ve been there you can’t really understand. I think it’s also the combo of the emotional weight with the physical labor. Thanks for taking the time to come and comment!

  3. Happy SITS Day! And you are so right! Moms do do the most important job in the world! There is no greater calling, blessing and challenge out there! :) Have a great day!

  4. I love it!! It not only made me laugh, but also made me remember how difficult, how exhausting, and how important being a mom is. Thank you for a fun visit!! I am off to read a few more of your posts before I have to “be a mom” again!

  5. Wonderful post, Rivki. Morhering is so hard. So exhausting. It is the most rewarding and stressful job ever. This is not meant to sound trite or condescending at all, but enjoy all the fun and struggles. It literally flies by. I promise you I feel like I blinked and now my babies are grown ups. You’re doing a wonderful job. You’re children are blessed to have you as their mommy.

    1. Thanks, Chava. That’s what everyone says, about the time flying by. Funny how when they’re all little it does seem to drag a bit. :) It’s a good reminder, not condescending at all. I need to be a better recorder for the cute things they do now, before they’re all grown up!

  6. I’m so glad I found your blog through your SITS day! Being a mom is the greatest, hardest, most rewarding job god made. My boys are teenagers now – I wish this wonderful mom blogging community had existed when they were little! You seem like an amazing woman and I will be back to read more! Have a great day.

    1. Hi Lana! Thanks for stopping by, and for the nice compliment! I feel very fortunate to be mothering at this exact time; thanks for the reminder that it wasn’t always like this!

    1. We have about the same ages – I have 5, 3 and almost 2 (this month!). It is indeed rough, but yes, thankfully, rewarding! Thanks for stopping by!

  7. So very excited to be here today, to learn about you, your faith, your beautiful family, and all the things that make you tick :) I love your upbeat nature and ability to take all things in stride. I imagine that’s what being a good momma is all about!

    Oh! And I grew up in Wesley Hills, which is bordering on Monsey, home to the biggest Orthodox community (I believe??) in the country. *FIST BUMP*! :)

  8. Being a mom is indeed the most important job one could ever have and I can tell you from my own experience they are grown ups in the blink of an eye! Enjoy every moment…good or bad and have a fantabulous SITs Day!

    1. Sorry, I should’ve explained that! I blame fatigue for that oversight. SITS is a blogging community where you can sign up to be a featured blogger. It’s a great way to meet other bloggers, learn some stuff about blogging, etc. I went and edited the post so it’s a little more clear. Thanks for asking!

  9. Children are a blessing to the Family from the Lord. Funny thing, though, he forgot the instruction manual!! Oh, yeah. The Bible. He always has an out, doesn’t He? So glad you were selected as featured blogger today. Hope you have a wonderful day. Be blessed.

    1. Indeed. I’m very grateful to have guidance and communal support in raising my kids! So helpful. Hope you had a great day, too! Thanks for stopping by. :)

  10. Mum’s always mum! I haven’t got any children – then I won’t give props, it’s 9 pm here and I still have to ring mine up! lol! – but I can say that watching mama at work is so wicked! So cool from may viewpoint! :) So yeah, it’s so worth it for both you and your babies! :) have a good one!

  11. Only a mom is like saying Oprah was only a talk show host. It’s great to meet you, Rivki – happy SITS day! I’m in the Baltimore area too; nice to find a neighbor!

  12. I love this! After feeling completely run down for the last week, pulled in every single imaginable direction (plus a few that I swear the laws of physics don’t allow to exist), this is exactly what I needed. One thing that helps, and I’m finding it more and more now that I’ve joined the 3-Kids-Club and my children are getting (probably) older is that my husband is more able to help them out. When they’re young, they need Mommy, but Daddy is now perfectly able to (with training) make lunches, take them to the park, take them shopping and bring them to school now that I’ve got some stomach virus or food poisoning. My husband is able to connect now with them on a different, non-baby level, and it makes my day so much easier when he offers to do some previously Mommy-only task because he can. And I let him. Sometimes good parenting (and really any job) is good delegating. (Plus my kids help him out a lot too.)


  13. I already love your blog and your view on life! Being a mom is so much more than just being a mom. Thank you for inspiring all of us!

  14. Happy SITS Day! Oh, how I can relate! I especially loved the quote: “I’m usually so exhausted that simply washing my face and brushing my teeth are monumental achievements.” Amen! I love people who speak the truth.

    1. Thanks! Being honest about the nitty gritty of parenting is so important – otherwise we’d all be sitting around wondering if we’re normal, right? I think so.

  15. So fun to see you featured on SITS! And I loved this line right here: “The wealth of blogs out there also show how there is no one way to be a mom. ” I had never thought about that fact of blogging. Good point!

  16. Happy belated SITS day! I love the idea of our children being given to us as if they are hand picked and we are their best parent. I will remember this during the next dinner boycott (as you mentioned). Cheers!

  17. This made me lol:

    No, really, that Russian Drama course I took has certainly helped me with my parenting. No matter how grim things seem, they are always more upbeat than any Chekhov play.

    I totally agree. Parenting is completely undervalued.

    1. I’m so glad you appreciated that bit! It’s amazing to me how something which so powerfully affects the next generation is regarded so casually by society.

  18. I’m a mom of 4 teenagers–and the time has just flown by! I have a lot more “me” time now (which means I am a full-time student and part-time executive director of a non-profit) which is great–but I do miss sometimes those years when I was frantically busy with their little selves. Each stage in their life is amazing–and being present to that is so beautifully inspiring.

    1. Thanks for the perspective. I keep reminding myself that this frantic stage is finite, but you know, it’s hard to imagine life any other way right now. Thanks for the reminder!

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