Potty Training Haiku

I didn’t intend for this post to be for Mother’s Day, but now that it worked out this way it seems so entirely appropriate.

We’ve been in the midst of some sort of potty training for what seems like forever.  Really, it’s been two or three years.  Two or three years in the trenches of incentives, little potties, endless articles on strategies, on different philosophies (boot camp style versus letting them tell you when they’re ready) and on the odors that come with the process.  I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, as I’ve been sniffing around my house and noticing that it’s everywhere.  So I decided to write some haiku in honor of all that we go through in this particular stage of parenting.

Happy Mother’s Day, and best of luck to all of us who are in these trenches together!


Extra underwear

in my purse, but don’t forget

the socks and pants, too.


No, really, you should

just try, even if you don’t

feel like you have to.


We’ll be leaving soon,

so it would be great if you

would just try to go.


Don’t say I told you

so, don’t say I told  you so.

Don’t even think it.


I don’t understand

why you keep saying “we should,”

when really it’s me.


We are just calling

to share some exciting news

about the toilet.


I heard of a child

who also went through this stage.

It’s really normal.


It’s okay, sweetie.

Now, let’s go find a shmattah

and we’ll clean it up.


There’s a faint odor

filling the rooms of my house,

not just the bathroom.


This stage will not last.

It’s possible I’ll miss it.

But probably not.

9 thoughts on “Potty Training Haiku

  1. bwah ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!! In order to make all your readers feel better, I’ve been toilet training the same kids now for 5 years. The twins are 7 and a half with special needs— one twin has nothing physically wrong, just a really bad introceptive sense and needs toileting reminders every frigging hour and a half. If you don’t remind him, watch out. And he poops in the toilet if you catch him doing the poopy dance and TELL him to poop. The other twin has been trained for pee since age 4 and a half but STILL has only initiated a BM in the toilet once in her life— we did 4 cleanouts, 4 xrays, manometry, spinal MRI, and have 2 fabulous colon diagnoses. Today is mother’s day and she pooped herself twice so far. We’re making progress with her and she WILL be trained, but it could take another year for her nerve endings to work again past the last cleanout. Fun times! Happy mother’s day to anyone who has ever wiped a poopy bottom, made up a silly pee pee song, or carried pullups or clothing changes for years on end!

  2. Both parents too lazy for potty-training.
    New year, new kindergarten-group, diapers unwanted –
    one cruel week after Christmas suddenly worked.

    Not really knowing either you or the future,
    I confidently predict:
    You won’t miss it.

  3. This was great! We’ll soon be entering that stage! I’m sure I’ll be rechecking this post for moral support :) Shkoiach – it’s a big job and a big accomplishment, teaching precious little people how to take care of themselves!

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