Oh my gosh, you guys. For the past seven or so years, I’ve been able to keep up this blogging business, writing posts up and uploading pictures, and it’s been, more or less, fine. Some of my friends have asked “how do you do it?!!” and I was all, “oh, I don’t know, I just do it.”
Now I no longer know how to do it.
We were away for about ten days, visiting my parents and then some cousins in Wisconsin who we hadn’t seen since our wedding (it was a GREAT trip and my husband and I both asked ourselves why we didn’t make that trip sooner, seriously). Preparing for the trip and now decompressing from the trip is no joke. No joke, I tell you.
Now I’m sitting cross-legged on my couch, spooning cold leftover quinoa and black bean (and cilantro!) salad from a chilly Corningware dish, feeling the pull of blogging barely edge out over the pull of all the other things that are beckoning. Like the mountain of Shabbos dishes. And laundry (ten-day trip, remember?), and the various projects that need attending to, like unpacking, or figuring out where the fall clothes are, or hanging pictures on the walls of our new house, or going through my email inbox, or the many forms my childrens’ school has sent for the upcoming school year.
Perhaps I’ve reached the tipping point of my domestic duties versus my creative wants. And the somewhat embarrassing reality is that I feel a need in my blogging to only write Very Important or Popular Posts, ones that touch on Truth and will ideally be shared a bazillion times on various social media sites. I used to just blog to stay in touch with friends and family, to keep them appraised of what’s going on in my life as I moved about the country.
Sometime along the way, I became enamored with this idea of reaching as many people as possible. I suppose it’s my competitive nature kicking in, seeing the blogging word evolve, and feeling like I need to be at the top, the best, the most viral posts, to get Freshly Pressed etc. But I never got there, and so I feel this little twinge of, I don’t know, frustration? Boredom? Something like that.
Again, it’s a little embarrassing.
I also feel that with the extremely limited amount of free time I have (Again, free being very relative. I should really be doing other things right now and will likely regret this in the morning), I feel like I should be writing articles for sites that, you know, pay money (though not much money, but, whatever, it’s still payment), or maybe doing something musical.
It seems that I’ve lost my connection with why I’m blogging while also finding that I need to devote more time to running my house in a way that is more satisfying and effective. I find it unlikely to be a coincidence.
So, whatever. This post is not earth-shattering in its content, and I used a ton of slopping writing and I rambled and well, that’s just gonna have to be okay with me. Because to do a whole post in the way that I would like to do it, with linkies and pictures and all the trappings is just beyond my capabilities at this point! Alas! This may be the end of an era! Or maybe not. I don’t know.
But I do know that Yom Tov is coming, and there’s a ton to do to prepare for that. I do have some Quick Thoughts for Elul up on my Facebook page, if you want to check those out.
And now, it is late and I must sleep.