Oh my gosh, you guys. For the past seven or so years, I’ve been able to keep up this blogging business, writing posts up and uploading pictures, and it’s been, more or less, fine. Some of my friends have asked “how do you do it?!!” and I was all, “oh, I don’t know, I just do it.”
Now I no longer know how to do it.
We were away for about ten days, visiting my parents and then some cousins in Wisconsin who we hadn’t seen since our wedding (it was a GREAT trip and my husband and I both asked ourselves why we didn’t make that trip sooner, seriously). Preparing for the trip and now decompressing from the trip is no joke. No joke, I tell you.
Now I’m sitting cross-legged on my couch, spooning cold leftover quinoa and black bean (and cilantro!) salad from a chilly Corningware dish, feeling the pull of blogging barely edge out over the pull of all the other things that are beckoning. Like the mountain of Shabbos dishes. And laundry (ten-day trip, remember?), and the various projects that need attending to, like unpacking, or figuring out where the fall clothes are, or hanging pictures on the walls of our new house, or going through my email inbox, or the many forms my childrens’ school has sent for the upcoming school year.
Perhaps I’ve reached the tipping point of my domestic duties versus my creative wants. And the somewhat embarrassing reality is that I feel a need in my blogging to only write Very Important or Popular Posts, ones that touch on Truth and will ideally be shared a bazillion times on various social media sites. I used to just blog to stay in touch with friends and family, to keep them appraised of what’s going on in my life as I moved about the country.
Sometime along the way, I became enamored with this idea of reaching as many people as possible. I suppose it’s my competitive nature kicking in, seeing the blogging word evolve, and feeling like I need to be at the top, the best, the most viral posts, to get Freshly Pressed etc. But I never got there, and so I feel this little twinge of, I don’t know, frustration? Boredom? Something like that.
Again, it’s a little embarrassing.
I also feel that with the extremely limited amount of free time I have (Again, free being very relative. I should really be doing other things right now and will likely regret this in the morning), I feel like I should be writing articles for sites that, you know, pay money (though not much money, but, whatever, it’s still payment), or maybe doing something musical.
It seems that I’ve lost my connection with why I’m blogging while also finding that I need to devote more time to running my house in a way that is more satisfying and effective. I find it unlikely to be a coincidence.
So, whatever. This post is not earth-shattering in its content, and I used a ton of slopping writing and I rambled and well, that’s just gonna have to be okay with me. Because to do a whole post in the way that I would like to do it, with linkies and pictures and all the trappings is just beyond my capabilities at this point! Alas! This may be the end of an era! Or maybe not. I don’t know.
But I do know that Yom Tov is coming, and there’s a ton to do to prepare for that. I do have some Quick Thoughts for Elul up on my Facebook page, if you want to check those out.
And now, it is late and I must sleep.
Rivki Silver ~ thoughts & music 
This post is perfect just the way it is. And it explains exactly how I felt and why I’ve stopped blogging. I don’t know why it happened, but I seem to have lost the desire to tell the world everything about my inner life. It’s okay. I’m doing other things. I only miss it once in a while. Mostly, I realize blogging was a distraction for me. It made me feel good because I connected with some people on the Internet, people who seemed to like my writing. The thing is that I neglected other things that mattered. So good for you for taking a break & rethinking your motivations & going to sleep without pictures & linkies, etc… I’m still admiring you, Rivki.
And I admire you, Renee. So much. And this comment is so on the mark with how I feel.
You know, there’s really nothing wrong with not wanting to post. Or not wanting to post as often. What you said about changing priorities reflects a lot of bloggers’ experiences, and wanting to work on things that earn you pay is not a small thing.
Of course, reaching a lot of readers, readers who get chizuk from you or feel less lonely because you write about a similar experience, is also not a small thing.
Maybe you’ll feel differently after the laundry is done and the kids are back in school.
I feel like it’s a real question about how much is chizzuk and how much is ego. You know? I’m also tired of the self-promotion. It seems like so much more goes into reaching people that the actual writing, and I don’t like that. :/
Well, that sentiment sounds very, very familiar.
I hear you. When I stopped blogging at the end of April after almost four years, I felt there was no other choice. I couldn’t keep up with it, which made it no longer fun, which made me feel like I could no longer justify the expenses of running it. For my own sake, though, and the rest of your readers, I hope you’re able to continue even if at a different pace. (Though hey, if you write only for places that pay, I’ll no doubt enjoy that stuff too, so we all win.) Regardless, you’ve made it seven years and four kids! Holy noodles! Also, if you find a way to run your home effectively, please let me know.
Hahaha, it’s a constant avodah to find better ways to run my home. Staying offline seems to be a crucial factor. :) I’m sad about your blog being done! I was going to pop over there for some recipes for Yom Tov. But I’m glad I’ve printed some off and have them in my Pesach binder!!!! But I totally understand. Obviously.
I’ve enjoyed your blog very much but I say: Time is precious! Enjoy your beautiful family, religious life, music, etc. No blogger is indispensable; there are lots of blogs by Jewish moms, so you taking a break (or longer) may give someone else a chance to be read. Be well! And enjoy the chagim!
Thank you for this! Enjoy the chagim as well! Ksiva v’chasima tovah!
You know I get this. I come in and out of this feeling. I think it’s important to not force yourself to post and if something else needs to take center or even side stage right now over the blogging, it doesn’t mean that will always be the case.
Very true. Things are always evolving. But I do wonder if this is the end of an era in some way. Blogging has changed so much since I started. And all the self-promotion is a little exhausting, to put it mildly!
I have been having the same sad feelings lately. I like writing and sharing those thoughts with others, but life happens and kids and household and school work too.
Even if you don’t blog as regularly for awhile, whenever you come back to it – we’ll be here.
Thanks Rebbetzin! That’s an encouraging thought.
Don’t stop! You don’t have to reveal your innermost spiritual yearnings to the world. But even a twice-weekly quick thought from a respected blog can give me a boost of adrenaline, and food for thought. Nobody is doing what you do. Please consider resuming on a limited basis.
Thanks Rabbi Davidovich! It’s nice to feel needed, and maybe I can lower the bar I set for myself of what a blog post “needs” to look like, and keep it much simpler. It was nice to see you today!
I firmly believe that blogging is only enjoyable if you enjoy doing it. And you should blog/post for YOU only. I don’t think you need to make a hard-and-fast decision to stop blogging. If you want a break, go for it and don’t apologize! Your friends and fans will support you and be here when/if you come back. Only do what makes you happy.
Thank you Leah! It’s hard to stop something I’ve been so dedicated to for so long, and the reminder that I’m not making any permanent decisions here is so helpful!