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If not now, when?

My laptop is in the shop. Well, actually, I think it’s currently in the FedEx storage space, because a very nice and perceptive Fedex man stopped by today (shabbos) and told me that he had a delivery I needed to sign for.

After my deer in headlights reponse, he queried,

“Should I come back on Monday?”

I nodded gratefully. One of the perks living in a heavily orthodox area is not having to explain the idiosyncrasies of observant life, like how even though I would really, really love my computer back, I’m still not signing for it on shabbos.

That’s all prelude to this announcement that I’m typing this post from my phone. I despise typing long things from my phone. I really, really dislike it.

BUT 

I’m tired of putting off writing a post, and so I’m taking a “no time like the present approach.”

In keeping with my current focus on musical endeavors, I haven’t had much time to write. As you have perhaps noticed.

As happy as I am with the music making (and there’s so much going on right now! It’s great!), I miss this. I miss you guys, and I miss the self-reflection that comes with the push to public a post on a regular basis.

Getting out of the habit of writing reminds me of how I feel when I get out of the habit of davening, or of saying morning brachos. I feel unmoored, slightly guilty, and fogging disconnected. And then when I open my siddur and connect to those words that I love, it’s like a shot of endorphins. I love that.

For the curious ones, wondering about all the music things I alluded to, I’m prepping for a short Chanukah concert of Yiddish songs, two February performances and also, my recent acceptance as a fellow for the Cleveland Jewish Arts and Culture lab, where I’ll get to collaborate with other local Jewish artists. I’m planning to do some more multi-media works like the recent video I posted and the one with the carrots. You guys remember that one, right?

That’s all. I hope you all get a shot of endorphins in whatever area you need it in.

Also this guy is a year old already. What?!?!?!?!

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7 thoughts on “If not now, when?

  1. You just inspired me to get out of bed and drag myself to the gym. I always feel better after I work out.

    Also, I’ve been out of the posting habit too – and my brain feels sluggish, lazy and I worry that I won’t be able to write anything coherent. Like you, I just need to push myself to write 100 words on any topic. I certainly have plenty of material these days, as I’ve actually gone on a few (uncomfortable) dates. I’m not ready for a relationship, but I’m looking for a companion in this very paired-off-into-couples world. So yeah, I’ve gone on 4 dates. It’s so hard, Rivki. I miss my old life in my house, on my old street, with my son and our cat…but my husband is just a friend to me, and I want more than friendship. I want an intimate connection. I want someone I can talk to about anything.

    It’ll come in time.

    In the meantime, I’m practicing in a way I never did before because I married so young.

    Thanks for the post to get me inspired.

    xoRenee

    Please excuse any errors. This message was sent from my wireless thingamajiggy.

    >

    1. I’m so glad this post led to action! Sweet!! I need to exercise also. Love those endorphins. I’m sending you lots and lots of positive thoughts and prayers for your dating experiences and for you in this new stage of your life. I hope you find that person who you can talk to about anything, and that he appreciates you in all your glorious you-ness.

  2. Haha, I had a similar experience. The Fed Ex guy came and said he had a package for me. I said great, but unfortunately today is my religious holy day of rest and I can’t sign for it. He was doing something on his computer thing as I came to the door, I think he already signed for it. So he asked me if he could sign for it, and I told him as long as he wants to do whatever it is, he can do it to his heart’s content. LOL! I guess a name like Chana Sara in Oak Park is pretty telling. ;) I love your post! I’ve taken a long break from blogging and reading others’, but I’m happy I’ve been back reading a few of yours. :)

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