Mesorah (Jewish stuff)

Do You Ever Regret Being Religious?

One of the things that I most love about writing for Hevria is the way I am encouraged to constantly push my boundaries, to be more vulnerable, to reach deep within myself and be honest about the complicated emotions that are going on in there.

My baseline writing has evolved to become deeper because of this, but I still play it safe, even in this deeper mode. Today’s piece on Hevria goes past the zone of safety, and I talk about some of the thoughts that I used to feel really bad about.

When you make a commitment to the truth, any doubts that arise become bigger and scarier, but it’s important to not ignore them. This is me not ignoring them. You can read about it here.

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4 thoughts on “Do You Ever Regret Being Religious?

  1. Hi Rivki,

    I’ll keep fingers crossed for that clarinetist position!

    The rest, I ströngly want to say something, I just don’t really know what it is I want to say. ;-) i’m religious in a different way than you are, and I’ve been thinking about what I would do if religious practice would interfere with making music. I’m almost sure I’d choose music (and adjust religious practice accordingly, not abandon it.) But that’s different for everyone. As long as you really feel this is the solution that makes you thrive the most and is best suited to your personality, everything’s fine, I guess.

    And go for that clarinet job! :-) Best Christine

    2016-11-02 18:23 GMT+01:00 Rivki Silver ~ thoughts & music :

    > Rivki Silver posted: “One of the things that I most love about writing for > Hevria is the way I am encouraged to constantly push my boundaries, to be > more vulnerable, to reach deep within myself and be honest about the > complicated emotions that are going on in there. My baseli” >

    1. Hello Christine!!! I hope you’re well.

      You really put it well when you said that if it’s the solution that makes me thrive the most and is best suited for my personality then it’s fine. I really do feel that my life is full and vibrant and that I have the tools to deal with the challenges of life because of my religious practice, plus having the communal support that comes with Orthodoxy. It’s impossible to say I wouldn’t have found it some other way, but the benefits that come with these religious trapping far outweigh the challenges. I just don’t always see that because I take so much for granted. :)

      And thank G-d, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to play my clarinet and piano over the years, even in orchestras on occasion, but it’s never been quite enough to scratch the itch. And there’s always the possibility that even if I weren’t religious in the way that I am now, that musical itch would still be unfulfilled.

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