Anger is a normal reaction to any number of life challenges. Injustice, disappointment, insult, injury, the general unfairness of things, having to deal with rude people, I could go on.
But while anger is a normal reaction, holding onto it is basically always bad for us (I’m sure there are times it can be channeled effectively, to right some injustice, for example, but in the day to day, it’s just better to move on).
Of course, it’s easier said than done to just move on from things that make us angry, at least it is for me. I have been known to obsess over upsetting experiences, reliving them over and over, experiencing the same indignation and almost reveling in the negative feeling. Sometimes I would relive upsetting conversations and come up with better responses. Who hasn’t done that?
But really, once I let go of that anger, recognize it as something that is often masking a different emotion, like fear or grief, then I can start to be more emotionally healthy.
My kid’s therapist once said that anger is a secondary emotion, it comes after we feel a more primal emotion. And we need to figure out what that emotion is so we can not spend our time in anger.
Do you have any effective strategies for dealing with anger?
(also, please don’t release balloons into the air. It’s really not good for wildlife and stuff)