Creating A Deeper Connection In Your Marriage

A couple summers ago (the summer before The Pandemic, to be specific), I signed up for an eight-week marriage course. A friend had highly recommended it, and I was looking forward to it.

Marriage is like a plant: You need to take care of it for it to thrive, but, like a plant (at least the plants in my house), it’s very easy to walk right past it and forget to water it, prune it, and so on.

At the point that I started taking the marriage course, I had been married for maybe eleven years and had five kids. We had lived in six different homes in three different cities. I had held a few different jobs, volunteered for a bazillion different things, started a number of different projects, and had recently started traveling to various speaking gigs. My husband had gone through medical school, residency, and was working an intense job with long hours. We did go on dates, sometimes, not as regularly as the experts recommended. We took trips together sometimes, too. But we were also both really tired at the end of most days, and the challenges of parenting were also taking a toll. Throw into the mix our various cultural differences and just the fact that we are very different people, and both stubborn, and you can use your imagination for the rest.

I had read marriage books, attended marriage speeches, had tried advice, but was still finding myself falling back into the same rut of complaints and annoyances. My husband is a great guy. What was going on? Why wasn’t I feeling like I had a great marriage? I started to wonder if this was just how marriages were after over a decade and bunch of kids.

Then I took Rivke’s class over the summer, and signed up for another round in the fall. In this small group of women (there were four of us), I experienced a huge shift in how I approached my marriage. I realized that I had been holding onto some really unhelpful ideals that didn’t even make sense for us as a couple. I learned how to manage my negative feelings when they came up. And I discovered how crucial it was to take care of myself, and how to actually do that.

And after I internalized the lessons (because, obviously, it’s not like I instantly started to think and react differently, it takes time and effort to change!), it’s like I had a different marriage. A better marriage. A marriage where frustrations and miscommunications still happen, but are more like blips than earthquakes.

Now I’m the friend who is highly recommending her coaching to people!

Rivke emailed me Motzei Shabbos, letting me know that she recently created a new curriculum based on the most powerful processes she’s used in both group and individual coaching. It’s launching this week. It’s over zoom, so it’s open to women all over the States. I’m so happy to be able to tell you about it.

Here’s how she describes it, in her words:

Your REALationship

Real progress. Real Connection

A powerful and effective 12 week transformation to deeper connection and happiness in your marriage.

Do you feel:

Ambivalent, Lonely, Disappointed, Resentful, Claustrophobic, Squashed, Conflicted, Hopeless, Stressed or Overwhelmed in your Marriage or just want to take your marriage to the next level?

 Join me for this transformational Journey to a marriage where you feel Supported, Loved, Connected, Fortunate, Passionate and Playful again!

I don’t just give you the Roadmap; I walk with you down the road.

I don’t just teach you the tools; you experience the powerful shift.

You are not traveling on your own, you have a guide leading and a team supporting you along the way.

Get the support you need to finally reach the connection and love that are possible for you!

Group Coaching for Women

Morning and Evening groups starting on ZOOM:  Tuesday evening February 2: 8:45-10:00 pm EST

                                                                          Wednesday morning February 3: 10:00-11:15 am EST

For questions and to register, email: or text or call 216-926-9036

 Rivke Gardner,* Marriage Coach, Certified Dina Friedman Coach

*Years ago, as I set out as an idealistic newlywed into the uncharted territory called marriage, I thought I knew what it would take to be the “perfect” wife and create the “perfect” marriage. Well, I was in for a surprise; it was a bumpy ride!  I decided to devote my life to figuring out a formula that makes marriages thrive. After transforming my own marriage, I have devoted over 15 years to research and education and have successfully helped many women transform their own marriages.


“Rivke’s group coaching gave me the insights into my own personal struggles and the tools to deal with them in a highly personalized way. There are no one-size-fits-all solutions presented, just very good, practical exercises for healing and renewal.  Rivke was able to help me move beyond blaming and shame to a place of acceptance and love.  The work we have done has been transformative both in my marriage and in the way I relate to myself.”   -Chaya

 “This is not a “tips and techniques” class. The insight this program gives straightens our thinking and creates change from the inside out. It is an incredible journey!”  -Rochel

Featured Photo by Shardayyy Photography on Unsplash

3 thoughts on “Creating A Deeper Connection In Your Marriage

  1. You are amazing to give us your honesty. It is a gift to us all experiencing the same and feeling so alone in the experince .

    On Mon, Jan 25, 2021 at 5:59 PM Rivki Silver ~ thoughts & music wrote:

    > Rivki Silver posted: ” A couple summers ago (the summer before The > Pandemic, to be specific), I signed up for an eight-week marriage course. A > friend had highly recommended it, and I was looking forward to it. Marriage > is like a plant: You need to take care of it for it to” >

    1. Thank you. It’s such a delicate balance because marriage is such a private thing, but if we never share the challenges then we all struggle alone. That’s one thing I really appreciated about Rivke’s group coaching. It was a small enough group that it was still discreet, but it was so normalizing to hear that we all had our own challenges in our otherwise fine marriages!

    2. And I also want to just give a shout out to my husband, who is naturally much more private than I am, but who has always been supportive of my writing, even though it means sacrificing a bit of his privacy.

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